


Never to be forgotten

by SweetieR



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-09-26 13:21:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 36,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20390368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetieR/pseuds/SweetieR
Summary: "When he receded in order to check that she was okay, he saw her frightened stare and a bad feeling took hold of him right away."Guinevere?" he asked, in a trembling voice. She stared at him, frowned then only murmured."Who are you?" Arthur and Guinevere, Modern [AU], including Lancelot. Can an unique love get a second chance ? [inspired by the movie - The Vow]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey :)
> 
> I am taking my stories here from FF, hope you'll like them !
> 
> Lots of love xx

**Chapter 1 :**  
  
"So, Mrs. Pendragon." Smiled a young blond man, bringing his very recent wife against him, while walking in London's streets at night, after a good dinner.

  
She laughed and buried her face in his neck, leaving it a soft kiss before whispering,

  
"I love you."

  
He stopped then, in the middle of the street, and locked his bright blue eyes in hers before stroking her cheek tenderly and taking her hand, giving it a sweet kiss.

The young woman's eyes sparkled with love for her recent husband and she opened her mouth, eyes shining with unshed tears.

  
"I am so happy Arthur." She raised a hand toward his chest and stroked it, right in the place of his heart, which earned her a loving smile. "I didn't even know it was possible to love someone as much as I love you."

  
He got closer and laid a tender kiss on her pink lips.

  
"And I love you so much, my Guinevere." then he resumed. "I promised it to you my love, promised that one day, we will be completely happy together, finally."

  
She raised a hand and stroked his cheek lovingly.

Almost 3 months now that they were married, and they still had a hard time getting use to their happiness.

Everything they've been through; Arthur's father, their respective social environment, their different tempers ...

After more than two years of a chaotic, yet idyllic years of relationship, they were finally together, forever.

At least, that was what they thought...  
  
Everything happened quickly.

Very quickly.

Too quickly.

The car came out of nowhere and neither of them had seen it.

Arthur turned around.

Guinevere screamed.

The young man then pushed his beloved and used his body as a shield for her, and the car came, without stopping, not even to see if they were fine.

  
Arthur got up slightly and laid a hand on his forehead before feeling something wet and sticky, he brought his hand in front of him and saw the red color of it.

Suddenly, he froze and turned toward his wife.

  
"Guinevere." he whispered, and his eyes landed on her, laid down on the floor, unconscious.

  
The young man's heart stopped and he threw himself at her side, wanting to shake her awake but knew he couldn’t move her, it was too dangerous.

  
"Guinevere?”

  
No answer.

  
"Guinevere?" his voice was started to sound desperate now, "Guinevere!”

  
This is the moment the love of his life chose to open her eyes, very slowly.

Tears of relief escaped Arthur's eyes, while pressing his forehead to hers. 

When he receded to see if she had no injury, he saw her frightened stare and right away, a bad feeling took hold of him.

  
"Guinevere?" he asked, in a trembling voice.

  
She stared at him, frowned then only murmured.

  
"Who are you?”

  
And right there and then, in the middle of the night that promised to be an amazing one only a few minutes ago, Arthur Pendragon's heart stopped.  
  



	2. Chapter 2

** Chapter 2:**

  
  
_"Young woman of 22, head trauma due to an accident with a car. She has a concussion and has been unconscious since before we arrived." said quickly the woman in the ambulance, taking a stretcher with Gwen on it._

  
_"Guinevere!" screamed Arthur, getting out of the ambulance, running after her._

  
_"Sir, are you hurt?" asked a young doctor._

  
_"He has refused to be cared for." answered the woman._

  
_"Go and fetch doctor Emrys." resumed Arthur._

  
_"Sir, there is a lot of good doctors here who could take care of your wife and-"_

  
_Arthur gripped his arms and hissed in a threatening way._

  
_"I'm Arthur Pendragon." the man's eyes widened. "My father paid for half of this bloody hospital. I want my wife to be cared of by Doctor Merlin Emrys. I won’t say it another time."_

  
_The young man paled and Arthur let go of him._

  
_"I'm sorry Mr. Pendragon; I’ll call Dr. Emrys in the second..."_

  
_"Tell him it's an absolute emergency. Tell him Guinevere had an accident." He said impatiently._   
  


* * *

  
  
When Merlin reappeared in the waiting lounge a few hours later his heart sank, seeing the state his best friend was currently in.

Arthur has laid his forearms on his knees and his face in his hands.

  
"Arthur?" called Merlin gently and the young man was up right away.

  
"How is she?" he asked immediately.

  
"Fine." answered Merlin, his friend smile. “She has a concussion but for now she just seems to be unconscious. I want to do an MRI scan to see the extent of her injuries. I need your permission to go ahead with the test.” Said Merlin giving Arthur the chart for him to sign. Merlin resumes. “But for now she’s fine, she’s sleeping and probably waiting for you to wake her.” He said taking the chart back after Arthur had signed it.

  
Arthur ran a hand in his hair while closing his eyes in relief letting out a breath he seemed to be holding.

  
"Oh thank God." Arthur said as he walked closer to his friend and hugged him briefly. "Thank you Merlin, I knew I could rely on you.” Arthur receded to look at Merlin. “When may I see her?"

  
"She's sleeping now." the young doctor then smile slightly. "But you can go see her. Someone will be in her room soon to take her to take the test. After the test she will be brought back to her room and you can wait for her to wake, I don't think anyone will bother you after the test, you quite frightened my med student back there." he smiled.

  
Arthur groaned a little.

  
"I know. I should apologize to him."

  
"You will not!" exclaimed Merlin and Arthur raised an eyebrow, "He needed that I think. He was a little obnoxious and was slacking off ...”

  
The blond man burst out of laughter before Merlin resumed, showing the bandage in his head.

  
"You've been bandaged up?”

  
"Yes. The nurse who was here refused to let me wait without cleaning my wound and make sure it wasn't something grave."

  
"Sounds like her." tenderly laughed Merlin and Arthur frowned slightly.

  
"Who is she?"

  
"Who?"

  
"This nurse you obviously have a crush on”

  
Merlin blushed but didn't saw the point of denying it now.

Not after Guinevere's accident.

Life did hold on a simple thread.

  
"Freya."

  
"That's a pretty name. An unusual one, like yours."

  
He was grateful toward his best friend for his tact, but knowing it wouldn't last, he walked away and resumed.

  
"Go on, go see your wife."

  
And in a last grateful smile, Arthur left.  
  


* * *

  
  
Arthur came in and stopped a few seconds, before moving forward again. He settled in a chair beside her and took his wife's hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing it.

  
"Guinevere." he whispered then. "I am here."He tenderly put back a curl behind her ear before kissing her forehead lovingly and tenderly. He squeezed her hand against his heart. "Everything is going to be alright now, love. You are safe, I promise you."

  
He laid a kiss on her hand and laid again his eyes on her.

He hadn't told anyone - not even Merlin, that during a few seconds, before going back in unconsciousness, Guinevere didn't recognize him. His heart stopped again and he laid his face on the bed, her hand still clutching against his heart. The impact must have shocked her. He didn't saw any other valid explanation. Guinevere loved him. That was for sure. They were happy now, and nothing would come and ruin their happiness.

  
A few minutes later an orderly came in to take Gwen to take her test. He was allowed to accompany her to a certain point. After the tests have been done they retuned her to her room with him following every step of the way.

  
He once again sat on the chair by her bed taking her hand in his. He kissed her hand, his eyes never leaving her and after kissing her on the lips he laid his head against the warmth of her body, his had still holding hers.

* * *

  
  
When Guinevere was regaining consciousness, she felt an unusual pressure on top of her and around her right hand. She tried to move but couldn’t then try to move her hand it but when she didn't manage to, the young woman opened her eyes and froze, seeing a blond man, asleep by her side.

  
"Who are you?” she asked alarmed and scared.  
  


* * *

  
  
Arthur felt something move below his head and stirred, before slowly opening his eyes. A deep sigh of relief took him when he saw his wife staring at him; he then opened his mouth to speak, but noticed the look on her eyes and froze. He knew that look. It was the same one she wore the previous night...

  
"Who are you?"

  
Guinevere quickly receded her hand and tried to move away as much as she could in the hospital bed.

  
"Guinevere it's me…"

  
At this moment, Merlin came in.

  
"Arthur." he merrily greeted. "Guinevere." He walked closer and checked on the chart "Are you alright? How are you feeli..."

  
The young man stopped, noticing the pallor of his best friend and the terrified stare of the young woman.

  
"Gwen?"

  
He walked closer, took the penlight from the hospital cart and checked on her eyes. He then turned toward Arthur, but this one was looking as if the world had stopped. He turned again toward Gwen.

  
"Gwen?"

  
She seemed to hesitate, then finally asked.

  
"Do we know each other Sir? “Have I already been here? Are you my Doctor, then?"

  
This time, Merlin frowned.

  
"I beg your pardon, I mean yes I am. But Gwen…” Merlin did not like where this was going.

  
She looked down and Arthur got up, with difficulty.

  
"Can I talk to you?"

  
The young man agreed and they both head out of the room.

  
"Are you going to tell me what is going on in here?"

  
"I think her injuries are more severe than we first though. I’m sorry.”

  
"Merlin, how is that even possible?" Arthur's voice seemed desperate. "She can't have forgotten!”

  
"Calm down, Arthur. It is possible that the injuries to her brain might have caused memory lost. The test came out fine, but sometimes swelling in the brain can develop later. She may have temporary memory loss or she could have forgotten everything."

  
The young man laid a hand on his tired eyes, trying to catch his breath, while the doctor tried to find an explanation at all that.

  
"Yesterday night, the EMT said that she was conscious with you, was that right?"

  
Arthur didn't answer to that.

  
"Arthur?"

  
"I ..." he sighed. "Yesterday night, she was briefly awake and ..." he took a deep breath. "She didn't recognize me back there."

  
"Arthur!" exclaimed Merlin. "I am her doctor; you can't hide things like that from me!"

  
"I am sorry. It was before she fell unconscious again and I thought it was due to the impact, I thought everything would be alright ..."

  
"You didn't shake her at least, in order to wake her?”

  
"Of course not!" he answered.

  
"Good. It's a start."

  
None of them talk for a few seconds, then Arthur asked, in a weak voice.

  
"But she will be fine, won't she? Her memories will come back, huh?”

  
Merlin sighed and looked at his friend seriously. He knew that Arthur couldn't live without Gwen; he knew how much he loved her and how much she meant to him. As a friend, he had to let him some hopes; as a doctor, he owed him the truth.

  
"I can't promise you that." he gently whispered and right away, saw his friend's eyes fill with tears.

  
"But ... No. There must be something you can do."

  
"Except wait, there is nothing we could do, I'm afraid. Wait and see if all of this isn't a temporary reaction of the brain due to the impact and the drugs she had.”

  
"But you are a doctor, for heaven's sake!”

  
"Not a sorcerer, Arthur, head injuries are unpredictable. They are not like a broken bone or laceration.”

  
The young man looked down before looking up, fiercely.

  
"No. I refuse to give up. Guinevere will come back. I know her; she will fight for our love."

  
Merlin laid gentle hand on his friend's shoulder.

  
"She’s waiting for an explanation; I must tell her what's going on. The poor thing must be afraid."

  
"I will do it."

  
"Arthur..."

  
"No. She is my wife. I will do it."

  
"Arthur, right now she doesn't know who you are. I’m her Doctor it might be easier coming from me." breathed Merlin and defeated, his friend capitulated.  
  


* * *

  
  
When Guinevere saw them come, she stared, she could not explain why, at the blond one. She looked at him; tall, broad shoulders, blue eyes, strong jaw, he was extremely handsome.

She then looked at the doctor by his side; tall, skinny, blue eyes and a friendly yet smart stare.

Who were they?

Well, in fact, she could tell why the doctor was there, but who was that blond man?

And why was he holding her hand earlier?

  
"Gwen." started then Merlin and she forced her stare to not go to the other man. "Do you know why you are here?"

  
"I don't remember anything." she politely answers. "I am sorry, Sir."

  
"What’s the last thing you remember?" asked then Merlin.

  
"It's summer time. I'm 19 and it is the first time that I leave on holidays without my parents."

  
Arthur felt his heart sank. They had met this summer. She didn't have any memories of him. None.  
  
_Arthur was driving in his beautiful car, radio aloud, sunglasses covering his blue eyes. He was as happy as possible. He just turned 20, money, good looks, friends, a perfect life. He was singing one of his favorite songs when suddenly, he heard and felt someone scratch his car._

  
_"Oh no!" he exclaimed._

  
_He parked his car on the side and got out to inspect the impact, hearing another car park too. He was in a bad mood. He just loved that car. Arthur got up, ready to scream at the person guilty of this, but his words died in his throat._

  
_"Oh I am so sorry!" she said running towards him. "I just got my driving license and ..." he walked closer. "Oh forgive me; I'm going to pay for it, obviously-"_

  
_"No." answered Arthur and both of them jumped._

  
_He then detailed her; small, long curly hair, brown. Honey skin and chocolate eyes... She was so beautiful. He though mesmerized .She blushed a little under his stare and he shook his head._

  
_"Please excuse me." he resumed. "I'm Arthur." he held her a hand._

  
_"Guinevere." she smiled, taking the hand. "But everyone calls me Gwen."_

  
_"Guinevere ..." she froze then and cleared her throat, trying to compose herself. Yes he was handsome, all blue eyes and golden hair, but she had to stay focused! _

  
_"About the car." she said, trying to resume._

  
_"It’s nothing." he waved his hand._

  
_"Really?"_

  
_"Really, there is no big deal."_

  
_A genuine smile lighted up her face and Arthur's breath caught._

  
_"Have dinner with me." he suddenly blurted and blushed of his own audacity._

  
_She looked down a few seconds and then up, looking at him through her long lashes-_

  
"What's the matter?" she finally asked, making him leaves his daydream and Merlin sighed, before settling by her side. “I need to call my parents.” said Gwen.

  
"Listen to me Gwen." he gently said. "This isn't going to be easy to hear, alright?"

  
She nodded.

  
"You had an accident Gwen."

  
She frowned.

  
"We are in 2019, you are 22 now."

  
"22?" she whispered confused.

  
"Yesterday night, you were in the town when a car came up and almost crashed into you. As a result you received trauma to the head and you fell in a slight coma; it seems that all your memories have been erased since then."

  
Guinevere froze. This didn't make any sense.

  
"You are trying to tell me that I lost all of my memories of the last four years?”

  
"Yes."

  
"But ... are you sure?"

  
"Yes. I'm sorry. I don't know how long it will last, I"m hoping its temporary."

  
Tears were visible in her eyes, but she didn't let one fall, before turning toward Arthur.

  
"Who are you, why are you here?

  
Distraught, the young man turned toward Merlin, who took in the distress call and resumed.

  
"Gwen, you are 22 now, your life has changed since then."

  
"What are you saying?”

  
"We are married." finally said Arthur, unable to help himself. He then saw the lost and terrified look in Guinevere's eyes and regretted speaking.

  
"What?" she weakly asked.

  
He walked closer, now that the cat was out of the bag ... He tried to take her left hand, but she removed it. Arthur tried to ignore the pinch in his heart due to this gesture and resumed, in a voice that he was hoping was a normal one.

  
"Look at your left hand please." She did it and glimpsed a gorgeous ring, a cry escaping her. "I've got the matching wedding band." he ended, showing her his own ring. "I am your husband."

  
"This can't be ..." she breathed, tears rolling down her cheeks now. "I would remember you if you were ..."

  
"Guinevere-" started Arthur but she stopped him right away.

  
"Gwen. Not Guinevere. Leave me alone, please."

  
He stayed paralyzed and she resumed.

  
"Please, I need to be alone. Get out."

  
Arthur didn't move until Merlin came and push him out slowly.

The young man was paralyzed, hopeless, helpless.

He watched the love of his life curled in her bed, her knees against her chest, and his heart sank a little more.

It wasn't possible.

It wasn't happening.

Not to them.

Not again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you all for your support, I hope you'll like this new chapter xx


	3. Chapter 3

** Chapter 3:**  
  
Once outside, Merlin studied his friend, worried.

  
"Arthur?" he called gently and his friend's eyes laid on him, but without really seeing him. "I'm going to ask Freya to prepare you a room for tonight, we usually can't but given the circumstances, I'll make an exception for tonight."

  
He started to walk away, but Arthur stopped him, panicked.

  
"No!" The young doctor frowned. “I want to stay with Guinevere."

  
"Arthur ..."

  
"When her memories come back, she'll be afraid." Arthur took a chair and settled at the exit of her room, near the door. "I want to be there for her."

  
Merlin sighed, opened the mouth, but knowing his best friend well enough to know when opposing himself was useless, patted his shoulder and left.  
  


* * *

  
  
Guinevere was still cuddle in her bed, tears rolling down her cheeks.

It wasn't possible.

She wasn't married.

She couldn't be.

She then raised her left hand and stared at the wedding band for the umpteenth time; a double wedding ring with a gold ring and a ring set with diamonds ...

Again, she closed her eyes and all she was able to see was the pained look of the man who claimed to be her husband.

He had seemed so heartbroken.

Guinevere had never wanted to hurt anyone.

At this moment, the door opened and appeared a young nurse, carrying a tray full of food.

Gwen sat up with difficulty and wiped her eyes.

  
"I was thinking maybe you would like some lunch." said the nurse gently. "It will soon be midday."

  
"Thank you." breathed Gwen and she cleared a throat, for her voice seemed weak to her.

  
The nurse nodded then was ready to take her leave, but changed her mind and came back by her side. Guinevere threw her a scared look that made her feel bad for her.

  
"You know, your memories will come back. You can trust Doctor Emrys; there is no one better than him."

  
Gwen looked down.

  
"He was my friend?"

  
"Yes."

  
"And I am married?"

  
"Yes." she said patiently.

  
"How could I forget that?" screamed then Gwen, tears starting to fall down her cheeks again. "What a cruel person am I, to be able to forget all of my love ones?”

  
Sobs were taking her, when she felt a hand seize hers.

  
"Everything is going to be alright. This is not your fault. None of it is your fault. Your friends and your husband know that. They don't hold you responsible."

  
"I'm afraid." breathed Gwen. "I don't know anybody."

  
"I'm Freya." said the nurse, then smiled softly. “There, now you know someone."

  
Gwen gave her back a smile.

  
"Thank you so much."

  
"I have to go and see others patients, but I'll be right back. Eat."  
  


* * *

  
  
When she got out of the room, the young blond man threw himself at her.

  
"How is she?”

  
"Mister Pendragon." she started. "Your wife is fine. She is shaken, she will need some time."

  
"Do you think I should give her some space?" asked the man and she saw the look in his eyes take a desperation stare. She had learnt to read her patients over the years, and this man was clearly in love with his wife.

She sighed.

He would need some strength.

  
"No. Quite the contrary in fact."

  
At this moment, he frowned.

  
"I know it is not my job-"

  
"Please, speak."

  
Freya took a deep breath.

  
"Maybe her brain only needs some stimulation. Maybe if you can find a way to show her who she was, who you were to her..."

  
"You mean, show her pictures?”

  
"For example."

  
A light of hope lighted up his blue eyes.

  
"All this might be only a blocking."

  
Arthur nodded thoughtfully, then smiled toward her.

  
"Thank you."

  
And ran out of the hospital.

  
"You're welcome." she ended low, before resuming her occupations.

* * *

  
  
Arthur left the hospital and climbed in a cab right away.

He gave the address to the driver and chose to stare outside.  
  
_"Arthur." she tried to say seriously, but the beginning of a smile was ruining her attempts._

  
_"Guinevere."_

  
_"You are not going to get away with it so easily!”_

  
_"I did nothing wrong."_

  
_She laughed and he brought her toward him._

  
_"So, this isn't you who broke my blender?"_

  
_"No." he answered quickly, too quickly..._

  
_"I should have you punished for that...” she whispered, before kissing his lips, then his cheek, his jaw, his neck, which made him groan._

  
_"Guinevere, stop ..."_

  
_"And why's that?”_

  
_She looked up and saw his bright blue eyes darkened by lust._

  
_"You searched for it." he breathed before carrying her in his arms through their room, her laugh following them the all way._  
  
"Are you alright sir?" asked the driver and Arthur jumped, before feeling the wetness of his cheek and wiping it quickly.

He had not realized he was crying.

  
No. Nothing was fine in his life right now.

  
"Yes."

  
"Are you sure?”

  
No.

  
"Yes."

  
"Very well." sighed the driver, who had the rules of never asking a client who didn't want to speak.  
  


* * *

  
  
Merlin headed toward Gwen's room again, in order to check if Arthur and she had lunch, but he didn't see his best friend.

Merlin frowned but thought he might be in the loo and came in his friend's room.

The young woman looked up and smiled gently toward him.

  
"Good afternoon, doctor."

  
Even if Merlin didn't say it because he estimated his pain was so inferior compare to Arthur's, it was paining him that Gwen didn't remember him anymore; she was one of his best friends and now, it was a little as if he was orphan.

  
"Hello, Gwen. How are you?"

  
"Fine."

  
"I was making sure you had eaten."

  
"I did, doctor, thank you for your concern."

  
He nodded and both of them talked a little about her state, before he headed toward the door; but she stopped him.

  
"Doctor?”

  
"Please, call me Merlin."

  
This was becoming way too odd.

  
"Merlin it is, then." she shyly said before resume. "The blond man, who was here yesterday night ..."

  
"Arthur?"

  
For an unknown reason, she felt chill running down her spine.

  
"Yes." answered the young woman, "Is he still here?”

  
The man sighed, then said softly.

  
"Of course he is."

  
"Oh." breathed the young woman, looking down.

  
"Do you want me to tell him to come in?"

  
"No!" exclaimed right away Guinevere. “I mean, not now."

  
She blushed and Merlin resumed in a comforting voice.

  
"There is no problem, Gwen. Go at your own pace."  
  


* * *

  
  
Leaving the room, Merlin noticed Arthur was still not here; frowning, the young doctor headed toward the level office, where he recognized the shape of the person who had her back on him.

  
"Freya?" he asked slowly, feeling his heart quicken.

  
The young woman tensed and turned around slowly.

  
"Yes, doctor Emrys."

  
"Call me Merlin, please.” She quietly nodded.

  
"I wanted to know if you have seen my friend, at the 324 door."

  
"The blond man?”

  
"Himself."

  
She blushed and for some odd reason, it made him sad.

  
"He is gone."

  
"Gone?"

  
"I ..." Merlin noticed her hesitation.

  
"Freya?”

  
"I'm sorry Doctor; I may have overstepped my boundaries but-"

  
"Freya." cut her off Merlin, this time a smile lighting up his face.

  
"I ... He seemed so sad! I was feeling so bad for him... I mean, if it was happening to me, I would like that ... Not that I ... I don't have any boyfriend or husband, but if I had one, which is not the case-" she resumed and he had to stop himself to smile in front of how cute she was.

  
"You're rambling."

  
"Oh. Sorry. I just told him that his wife may need to be given a shock, in order for her to remember who she was."

  
Merlin's eyes widened.

  
"You told him to hit Gwen in order to get her memories back?!"

  
"What? Of course not!" she hurried to explain, blushing now more than ever. "I told him some pictures might help her."

  
She had said that quickly and looking down.

A slight silence came and when she dared looked up at him, she saw the doctor's eyes full of tenderness and she melted.

  
"That was an excellent idea, Freya." he only said.

  
She shyly smiled and saw him opened the mouth, as if he was going to say something.

  
"Yes?" she asked, full of hope.

  
_Ask me out on a date._

  
Merlin stayed the open-mouth for a few seconds.

  
_Have dinner with me._

  
But nothing came out and instead, he cleared his throat and walked away.

  
"Good job."

  
And he left. He saw the disappointment on the young nurse's face and cursed himself.

  
_You're a doctor, for heaven's sake. Gather some courage._

* * *

  
  
Arthur put the key in the lock and turned it, before coming in their house, with a heavy heart.

He hadn't come here since the accident.

Guinevere's shoes were still near the sofa, and Arthur's hoodie from College, which she loved to wear, was still on the chair.

He walked further in and went upstairs, toward their room.

Arthur opened the door in a trembling hand and came in slowly, his heart broken.

He walked forward again and sat slowly on her side, before taking her pillow and holding it against his face, drawing in her scent.

The scent of the woman he loved above all else.

And then, his throat squeezed and for the first time since all of this started, he cried.

This couldn't be happening.

Not to them.

Not again.

He didn't understand, otherwise.

After all they've been through, all the obstacles they had to overcome, his father, her brother, Vivian, Lancelot, the whole of society;

It couldn't end this way.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
After some time, ( he didn't know exactly how much ), Arthur got up, his eyes red and tired of all the tears he had shed, wiped his eyes before heading toward a cupboard and open it.

All of their memories were there.

Guinevere was old fashion when it came to pictures and likes to have prints she could touch and reminisce about.

He took a box and put some pictures he had chosen in it, trying not to notice the happiness on their two faces, before leaving their house, the heart devoid of any hopes.   
  


* * *

  
  
When he reached the hospital, he met Merlin, at the gate of the hospital, smoking.

  
"I thought you had stopped." he only commented and his best friend shrugged.

  
“I had."

  
"You know how much it's not smart to smoke, for a doctor."

  
"I know. Please, don't tell my mum."

  
Arthur slightly laughed and settled by his friend's side.

  
"What is going on with you?"

  
"You've got other things to think, Arthur."

  
The young man looked at the box in his hand.

  
"Are those the pictures?" asked Merlin.

  
"Yes."

  
"It is going to work, Arthur. Pictures are always good stimulation."

  
His best friend looked up and Merlin saw tears filled his eyes.

  
"And what if it doesn't work? What if she never remembers me again? I can't live without her. What will I do, if-"

  
"Shush." cut him off the young doctor. "You must have faith Arthur."

  
"I know. Thank you for reminding me."

  
A new silence settled, during when the two friends just looked at the people getting in and out of the hospital.

  
"So what brings you here?" asked finally Arthur. "You can talk to me, you know. I'm still here for you."

  
A slight smile lighted up Merlin's face a few seconds, before he said.

  
"I am a coward."

  
Arthur frowned, but said nothing, letting him continue.

  
"I can't even ask her to go out with me."

  
"Merlin." said Arthur, seriously. "I hate to say it, but you are the bravest person I know." His friend turned toward him. "You just had..." he hesitated, then carried on. You just had a bad experience."

  
"With your sister."

  
Arthur sighed.

  
"You were not to blame in this."

  
"But you did warn me!”

  
"Merlin..." Arthur sighted. “I know Morgana; this is the way she is. She picks a man, and when she is getting tired of him, she changes. She doesn't want to settle down."

"She is your sister."

"I know. And I love her with my whole heart, which allows me to talk like that." he resumed than, patted his friend's shoulder. "You can't let that destroy you Merlin, it's been almost two years. You must move on, now."

  
"I know."

  
Arthur seemed to hesitate then, but he finally said, carefully.

  
"And I know something you don't. Morgana loved you Merlin."

  
The doctor raised a stare full of hope on his friend, that's what had hurt the most, the feeling she had played with him.

  
"Because believe me." continued Arthur. "You're the first one she bothered herself breaking up with. And as I said, I know her. She was in love with you, Merlin." the doctor looked down, fighting tears of his own heartbreak. "She wouldn't have laughed at your stupid jokes, if she didn't."

  
A slight smile lighted up the doctor's face again.

  
"And this Freya seems really great." resumed Arthur, trying to cheer his friend up.

  
"I know."

  
"And it is time, buddy. Take your destiny in your hands."

  
Merlin threw his cigarette and looked at his friend.

  
"Thank you."

  
Arthur smiled slightly to him and got up.

  
"Its 4 p.m., I must go and see Guinevere, wish me luck."

  
"Everything will be fine, Arthur."

  
"I hope so."

  
And on these words, he got in the hospital.  
  


* * *

  
Arthur arrived in front of her door, his box in one hand, his heart in the other.

He knocked and when he heard her positive answer, he came in carefully.

He came in and fell his heart filled with love for the woman in front of him.

She was sat in her bed, a paper on her bent-legs, her hair in a wide ponytail, some curls escaping it, a focus look on her.

Seeing that, he only fell harder for her, if possible.

Then, she looked up, her bright honey eyes, and he was sent back to the first time he saw her draw.  
  
_Arthur woke up._

_ He rubbed his eyes and smiled suddenly, remembering the night he just spent. _

_After two months of relationship, he finally had declared his love to Guinevere and hearing her say it back to him was the most beautiful thing he has ever heard. _

_He got up, put a boxer on and ran a hand through his blond hair, heading toward the living room. _

_He opened the room and what he saw made him stopped right away._

_In one of his shirt, her curly hair free on her shoulders, she was drawing, in front of the bay window. _

_He tenderly smiled in front of her focus stare and walked toward her, without noise. _

_Arthur tied his arms around her waist and laid his chin on the crook of her shoulder, before laying a kiss on her cheek. _

  
_"Hey you." she smiled._

  
_"Hi."_

  
_She leaned toward him and he looked at her drawing._

  
_"This is gorgeous."_

  
_"This is not much."_

  
_She was blushing. God, he loved when she was blushing! _

  
_"I love you."_

  
_"Oh, Arthur."_

  
_Guinevere turned around so she was on his lap._

  
_"I will never be tired of hearing that, I believe." _

  
_"I love you." he smiled. "I love you. I love you. I love you. I lo-"_

  
_She cut him off, laying her lips on his, before whispering with such a look of adoration on her face he would never forget._

  
_"I love you too."_

  
  
He was brought back to Earth then.

It had only lasted two minutes.

During two minutes, he had relived the happiest days of his life.

But he had to go back to Earth now.

  
"Hello." she simply said and he was glad she didn't totally reject him.

  
"Hello." was his only answer.

  
A slight silence came, he was up, and he didn't know what to do.

  
"You can sit." she blushed, showing him the chair next to the bed. He sat on the chair, the box on his lap." I wanted to apologize for the harsh way I treated you this morning." she resumed softly. "I didn't want to cause you more pain by doing this."

  
He looked up toward her and she was overwhelmed by the color of his eyes.

She was sure she could describe all the shade of blue.

  
"None of it is your fault, Guinevere." He tenderly breathed.

  
Guinevere.

Why his way to say it was affecting her so? As if every fibers in her being was ... acknowledging him?

  
"I am not mad at you, you know." he resumed, getting her out of her thoughts. "Actually, I wanted to apologize for my behaviour; I'm sorry for having been so brash, it wasn't fair of me."

  
"Thank you." she answered, a slight smile lighted up her face.

  
Her smile warmed his heart.

And he looked down again, at his box.

  
"What is this?" she asked, curious.

  
She saw his slight shrug, before he looked at her.

And at this moment, he looked so much like the boy he must have been once, that her heart melted.

  
"This is ... Merlin thinks... I mean, Doctor Emrys thinks that seeing pictures of what you have forgotten may trigger something in your brain and release all your memories."

  
She paled.

  
"This are pictures of my life, this last three years?"

  
"Yes." he nodded, slowly. She looked at him then and he settled the box carefully on her legs. "You don't have to open it now you know, I don't even have to be there, if you don't want me to."

  
Her eyes never left the box, while she said.

  
"But if I do it, my memories will come back?”

  
"I’m not sure." He said sadly.

  
With a trembling hand, she took the top of the box and lifted it, before taking the heap of pictures.

She took the first; a young blond man and a woman with caramel skin, tenderly embraced during a party.

  
"Is this ... us?"

  
"Yes." he answered, as if he was having trouble talking.

It was hard she didn't remember that.

  
She looked at it more carefully, saw how much the woman seemed happy, and saw the glimmer in the man's eyes.

  
"This was the night I introduced you to my friends, some three years ago."

  
She nodded and, her hand shaking, changed pictures.

This time, they were on a beach, her, sitting between his legs, his arms around her waist and her head leaning against his shoulder, laughing. He had the head turned toward her and they was so much tenderness in his eyes that the young woman's heart stopped.

  
"This was the first time we went on holidays together, in France."

  
She could do nothing more but change the picture, feeling tears threatening to fall.

How could she had forgotten that?

The next picture was showing the same people; her, in a gorgeous white dress; him, in a handsome dark suit. She was in his arms, her arms tied around his neck while his was around her waist. The look in their eyes was of pure love and adoration. Their eyes were plunged in one other and they were so close, as if the picture had been taken just before he close the gap and kiss her.

  
"This is ..."

  
"Yes." he answered and she heard his voice broke. "This is a picture taken on our wedding day; it will be three months on the twenty first."

  
"They look so happy." she said wistfully, stroking the man's face on the picture. "So in love ..."

  
"That's because they are."

  
She looked up and saw his eyes full of tears.

  
"Oh no..." she started. "I ... I am sorry ..."

  
"No." he sniffled. "I'm going to be fine." She saw him wipe his cheek quickly. "You still don't remember anything, do you?”

  
She shook her head, eyes full of unshed tears too.

  
"Maybe, after a good night of sleep!" she resumed and was surprised that, for the first time, she was truly hoping her memories would go back ; if only to take away the pain on his face. "I ... maybe if I look at them again... I ..."

  
He then took her hand in his and she jumped, feeling as if tension was going through their linking hands. She raised scared eyes toward him but he only smiled tenderly.

  
"You feel it too?"

  
She nodded.

  
"Then all is not lost." he smiled softly. "We will go through this, together."

  
She looked down toward his hand covering hers, before feeling a wave of hope taking hold of her suddenly.

  
"Together." she whispered.

She actually liked the sound of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N : Thank you for everything, hope you'll like this !


	4. Chapter 4

** Chapter 4:**  
  
Arthur was walking in the hospital corridors, his heart a little less heavy than the previous days, two cups in his hands.

Indeed, he had spent a lot more time with Guinevere these days, and even if their relationship had nothing to do with one of a husband and his wife, he took it.

Because he loved her and that's what you do when you love someone.

He was about to enter her room when Merlin stopped him.

  
"Arthur, wait!”

  
The young man stopped and let his friend time to catch his breath.

  
"I ... You'll have to..."

  
"Merlin?”

  
"Give me one second."

  
He laid a hand on his side and tried to get up, while Arthur heartily laughed.

  
"Eh!" the doctor defended himself. "You are the athletic one, I am the brain. That's how it always has been, dollop head."

  
Again, Arthur laughed.

  
"I am listening."

  
"Well." started Merlin. "First, Gwen's physical state is excellent." Arthur smiled a little at that. "The only problem is her loss of memory, which I’m sorry to say there’s not much I can do, and I can't keep her in the hospital any longer ...”

  
Arthur nodded.

  
"I understand. When?”

  
"Tomorrow at worst, today would be perfect. I'm sorry Arthur..."

  
Again, Arthur nodded, visibly upset.

  
"Arthur?”

  
"What do I do?" asked slowly his friend.

  
"Take her home." Merlin told him.

  
"I want to take her home, I want that more than anything, but should I?”

  
Merlin seemed to think then.

  
"The pictures has got no effects on her until now, does she watch them daily?”

  
Arthur nodded.

  
"Maybe seeing your home may help her-"

  
"Merlin..."

  
"I know Arthur, but I am as powerless as you are, here. The best you can do is take her home; get her back on her routine, to her life with her husband. That might job her memory more than anything. I'm trying to figure out what we can do."

  
"I know." breathed Arthur in a sad voice. "Thank you."  
  


* * *

  
  
Guinevere watched the pictures, for at least the hundred timed.

Friends, family ; going through this, she had been delighted at first to recognize a few faces, her parents amongst them, and she had been devastated to know about their death, the previous year, in a car crash ; her brother, but no one had heard about him since the accident...

Guinevere wiped a tear that was rolling down her cheek.

She was alone.

Alone in her head.

Alone.

She took another picture, her favorite, the one of their wedding day and squeezed it against her heart, trying to reassure herself.

Whatever happens, she wasn't alone.

Arthur was there, and he wouldn't let her alone, would he?

Even if she knew nothing of him, of their relationship; for an unknown reason, Guinevere couldn't picture him turning his back on her...

At this moment, the door opened and she saw him come, a weary face on him, carrying with him two cups.

  
"Hello Arthur." she gently breathed and he gave her a little smile before holding her a cup.

  
"Vanilla with sugar."

  
"My favorite."

  
"I know." he only answered and she felt herself blush.

  
"Please, forgive me." he answered right away, "I should not have said that ..."

  
She looked down toward her cup.

  
"How are you this morning?" he asked, worried.

  
"Fine." was her only answered. "Except I still don't remember a thing."

  
He felt his throat squeeze.

  
"Guinevere-"

  
"Did you get along well with my parents?" she asked slowly, stroking her father's smiling face on the picture.

  
She saw Arthur's eyes fill again with compassion and love, and he walked closer, sitting at her side.

  
"Yes." he only answered and she looked up toward him. "Actually, your mother loved me." He smiled a little more, his eyes lost, before only say. "Your parents were amazing people Guinevere ..."

  
"I know."

  
She felt her throat tighten.

No.

She would not cry, not in front of him.

She didn't make an habit of crying in front of strangers.

  
"Oh Guinevere ..." whispered the young man right away and he got up in order to take her in his arms, but she receded immediately.

  
"No." she said panicked. "Please."

  
He stayed upright, and she saw his blue eyes filled with hurt, again.

  
"I am sorry." she resumed, tears rolling down her cheeks now. " I am just not ready, not yet ..."

  
He nodded slowly, proof that he understood and sat again, eyes down toward his cup, quiet suddenly.

  
"Arthur-"

  
"Stop apologizing Guinevere."

  
"Sorry."

  
He threw her a look stain with amusement then, even if still sad.

  
"I'm doing that often, am I not?”

  
"I find it cute." he said and he blushed, having say it without thinking of consequences.. Guinevere blushed too and drank her coffee, quietly.

  
"Why did you want to talk me, earlier?”

  
He looked up toward her and for the first time, she was hit by the tiredness in his features.

He studied her a few minutes, hesitating.

  
"Listen." he started. "Merlin did what he could, but he can't keep you here forever, I already suspect him to have played all his cards in order to keep you, but now, he is stuck..."

  
"I understand." she breathed and she put back a curl behind her ear in a shaking hand. "Where am I to go?”

  
No answer.

When she looked up, Arthur was lost in his thoughts.

  
"Arthur?”

  
He jumped and resumed.

  
"Home. You are going home with me." He said firmly.

  
She paled. He was waiting for her answer.

  
"But-"

  
"Guinevere, Merlin thinks that if the pictures did not have any effects for now, going home; seeing your home; going back to your life could accelerate the process."

  
"And what if it doesn't work either?”

  
"Merlin thinks we must keep faith."

  
"And what do you think?" she asked slowly and he raised bright blue eyes toward her.

  
"You don't want to know what I think, Guinevere. I don't want to make you uncomfortable. "

  
She looked down and resumed.

  
"So, I will live in your house?”

  
"_Our_ house."

  
She sighed.

  
"Will there be enough rooms?"

  
"I'll sleep in the couch, if not."

  
"You already planned everything." she smiled softly.

  
"I'm just trying my best to save what we've got."

  
"I know." She sighed, then. "I know."  
  


* * *

  
  
Guinevere and Arthur were in the car, silent.

When he parked his car in front of a beautiful house, she gasped.

  
"Is this our home?”

  
"Yes." he smiled, turning off the car.

  
"This is gorgeous..."

  
He smiled again and came to open the door for her, while she was staring at the house; this was a Victorian house, beautiful, with an English garden.

They walked forward slowly, climbed the few steps that was leading to the front door, and she couldn't help but think it will have enough rooms to invite the whole borough.

He opened the door and let her walk first.

  
"After you."

  
"Thank you." she smiled, she came in the living room and suddenly...

  
"SURPRISE!”

  
She jumped, seeing a dozen of people waiting in the room.

She threw a terrified look toward Arthur but he just gave her back a comforting one.

  
"Come." he resumed and she followed him

  
"Gwen." smiled Merlin and she gave a smile back, he was the first person she knew in all this faces.

  
_"Gwen!_" exclaimed another person, running toward her and squeezing her in her arms. 

  
Guinevere saw blond hair but didn't recognize her.

  
"Please forgive Elena's behavior, she obviously forgot that Arthur asked us to control ourselves." resumed another voice, belonging to a gorgeous woman, all pale face, brown eyes and hair, who walked closer and laid a kiss on Arthur's cheek.

  
“Hello, dear." He smiled and she turned toward Gwen. "I'm Mithian." smiled the young woman. "We were roommates at University, actually I was with Arthur but you, Elena and I shared a room together. I work in my father's business now."

  
"Were we friends?" asked then Gwen.

  
"Very much so." answered sadly Mithian, before she finally turned toward the other woman. "Here is Elena; she was with us too, as I said."

  
"Hello." Elena gave her a sorry smile. "Forgive me for earlier, I was just so happy to see you ..."

  
Gwen smiled softly and they talked a little, before other persons took their places.

Three men came instead, a ginger man with curly hair, a very tall man with blue eyes and a third man, who looked like he just got out of a fashion brochure.

  
"I'm Leon." said the one who seemed the older, "And here is Percival and Gwaine, we are Arthur's mates and yours."

  
"Hello." smiled softly Percival.

  
"Even memory loss suits you." resumed the last, throwing her an impish look and Guinevere heard Arthur muttered.

  
"Gwaine..."

  
"Sorry."

  
"You don't remember us, do you?" asked the one called Leon.

  
She shook her head, shyly.

  
"It doesn't matter. Everything will come back to you in time. We just wanted to wish you good recovery."

  
"Thank you." she said shyly, then let them go.

  
Guinevere saw a lot of people, a very little she knew: Merlin and Freya. A lot she didn't know, people she worked with, friends of Uni, friends of them both ...

She was lost.

Who was lost in its own life?

She wanted to cry.

She wanted to run away.

Without noticing it, she got closer to Arthur, as if he could protect her from all that.

When Arthur noticed she was uncomfortable, he frowned and started to lead everyone toward the exit.

  
"Please, excuse us, but Guinevere and I are very tired, thanks all of you for coming tonight!"

  
"Good luck, man." breathed Merlin before going and Arthur patted his shoulder.

  
"You can come whenever you want to."

  
Mithian walked closer to him and laid a hand on his forearm.

  
"Don't worry Arthur, everything will be fine."

  
He smiled and kissed her cheek.

  
"Thank you for coming."

  
She gave him a smile and walked away.

A little away from them, Gwen frowned.

She didn't understood why, but it was bothering her to see them together ...

It was awakening something in her she didn't understand.

Like something far inside of her was stirring.

He finally came back to her, when everyone had left the house.

"Are you alright?" he asked, seeing her upset. "If it was the party, I am sorry, I just thought your…"

  
"Is there anything going on with this Mithian?" she finally blurted and blushed from her own question, while Arthur went to a surprised stare to an amused one.

  
"Why?" he asked, the hint of a smile on his lips.

  
"I ... Well, you're married."

  
"With you."

  
She blushed a little more, and he laughed.

She then turned around, but he caught her hand, and again, a shock made her jump and she looked up toward him.

His look was not only amused, but she could see all the tenderness hidden there and the all of this was really ... hot.

She shook her head.

She must stay focused.

  
"Guinevere, there is nothing going on with Mithian. We are good friends, that’s all."

  
"But the two of you have been together?" she stubbornly asked and blushed a little further.

What was happening to her?

It was like someone else had taken control of her mouth.

Words were getting out but she had no idea why she was saying them.

  
"When we were at University. Ages before I met you. It didn't work out; we were both too focused on getting our degree."

  
"And after?”

  
This time he heartily laughed and she realized this was the most beautiful sound she had ever heard.

  
"I met you. And everything changed then..."

  
She nodded and walked away from him.

  
"I am sorry, I did not want to-"

  
"No." he cut her off. "Don't apologize. Truth is, seeing you jealous about Mithian and I, it reminded me ..." she saw his eyes saddened again. "It reminded me of when all was normal."

  
"I was jealous?" she asked.

That was new.

As far as she remembered, she never had been the jealous type.

  
"Very much." he smiled again, and she was happy to make his sadness goes away. He seemed wistful suddenly and breathed. "You should get some sleep; I'll show you your room."

  
He walked passed her, and she followed looking around, before he opened a door.

  
"I am just here, if you need me for anything. Good night Guinevere."

  
"Good night."

  
He was watching her so intensely that she blushed and he blushed too, before clearing his throat and going.  
  


* * *

  
_"Gwen, will you marry me?”_

  
_The young woman felt tears prickle at her eyes._

  
_"Are you serious?"_

  
_"I am. Marry me?"_

  
_He got up and she gave him a hug, whispering at his ear._

  
_"Make me your wife, Lancelot."_  
  
Guinevere woke up, screaming, the forehead sweaty, breathless.

  
"Arthur?" she asked, her voice a little rough, But he wasn't there. "Arthur!" she screamed a little louder and she saw him get in the room slowly, before he saw her state and his face show the worry he was feeling.

  
"Guinevere?" he asked, getting closer to her, laying a hand on her forehead. "You are not feeling well? Do you want me to call Merlin?"

  
"No." she answered weakly. "I ... I remembered something, I think."

  
She saw his eyes fill with hope.

  
"You think?”

  
"I ... I was with this man and ... and he was asking me to marry him and ..."

  
She saw a smile started to light up his face, but she quickly said.

  
"I ... I think it wasn't you ... I ... I don't understand! He had dark hair and brown eyes and ..." she saw Arthur paled right away. "It was my ex boyfriend Lancelot... Arthur, I don't understand, what's going on?"

  
He took a few steps back.

  
"Arthur?”

  
The young man shook his head, a devastated stare on his eyes.

  
"No..."

  
"Arthur, please explain to me ..."

  
But he didn't answered and turned around, before leaving, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

  
  
Arthur opened the door of his car and got in, hitting his steering wheel pretty hard.

Of all her memories, it was this one that came back?

After the talk they had, after her jealousy over his relationship with Mithian ...

He had thought that ...

That maybe ...

He was blaming himself for leaving her this way, but he remembered this day all too well too.

And more important, he remembered the talk they had, a few days after...   
  
_Someone knocked and he sighed, knowing all too well who was there. _

_He finally got up from his bed, where he had spent his day watching at the ceiling; and he opened the door, letting an apparently upset Guinevere in._

  
_"You didn't answer to my texts."_

  
_He sighed again. _

_This was going to be long._

  
_"I know."_

  
_"Why?"_

  
_"You know." _

_And this time, she sighed and looked down._

  
_"Oh Arthur ..."_

  
_She looked up toward him and he felt his heart tighten a little more._

  
_"You chose Guinevere." he resumed with difficulty; it was breaking his heart to have to say it. "You chose Lancelot and I promised to you that if you did, I would not seek any contact with you again."_

  
_Tears were invading her doe eyes._

  
_"But ... what if I don't want you to stop talking to me?”_

  
_A sad laugh escaped him._

  
_"Oh Guinevere." he raised a hesitant hand and stroked her cheek, she closed her eyes and laid a hand on his, preventing him to let go. "He’s a good man. He will make you happy." it was hard to admit it, it was hurting. But he loved her, and she had chosen. _

  
_"But..." tears were rolling down her cheeks now. ”But he isn't you."_

  
_"Then why did you agreed to marry him?" _

  
_"Because he asked me, Arthur!”_

  
_He walked away a little and started pacing around the room._

  
_"And how in Earth did you want me to propose to you? We don't even have a true chance! All we had was some stolen kisses in the dark and time together when I was forced to act as if I didn't feel anything for you! You didn't even give us a real chance !"_

  
_"I couldn't do that to Lancelot." she resumed softly._

  
_He stopped pacing then, and walked until he is in front of her. _

_She felt his breath against her forehead but didn't dare look up. _

_She knew that the sadness in his eyes would kill her._

  
_"Always so kind and selfless... This is one of the reasons why I have feelings for you, Guinevere."_

  
_She walked closer and crumbled against his chest, hands gripping his shirt while his arms closed around her. _

_They stayed this way a few minutes, before she walked away and wiped her eyes, finally daring giving him a look._

_ She saw his blue eyes red and devastated, and she knew she must look the same._

_ She walked closer again and stroked his cheek tenderly, seeing his jaw clench a little more._

  
_"I am sorry."_

  
_He nodded, without answering. _

_She then went on tip-toe and laid a simple, only kiss on his lips, before receded and walking away._

  
_"Goodbye, Arthur."_

  
_She headed toward the door and was about to open it, when she heard him swear something that sounded like "Hell with it." and in one second, she found herself between the door and his muscled body, his lips on hers, sharing the most passionate kiss she ever had. Their tongues were fighting, their hands were losing themselves in the other, and all their being seemed so right for each other. After a few minutes, breathless, he walked away again and whispered._

  
_"Goodbye, Guinevere."_

  
The following months had been the worst of his all-life.

He was barely feeding himself, sleeping very little.

He didn't live anymore; he was existing; but not living.

Imagining her, happy with_ him_; imagining the life they could have had, it was breaking his heart.

Although, he didn't believe his eyes, he seriously thought he was dreaming, when a Monday of September, 5 months after their last encounter, he had opened the door to find a teary Guinevere, in her wedding dress, sobbing that she had really tried during this 5 months to get him out of her head, but she couldn't do that, she couldn't live without him.

He had opened the mouth to speak then, but she had thrown herself on him, kissing him with all her heart.

Then, it was as if the two part of his heart have been fix, as if he could breathe again, as if he had survived and life could now go on, now that she was in his arms.

He had made her come in, and they had spent the night, cuddle against the other, whispering words of love and promise of a future together...  
  


He had really thought they had been through it all.

* * *

  
  
When Arthur came back in the room, he was very pale.

Guinevere looked at the window and he settled by her side, on the bed.

  
"I'm sorry for leaving you this way." he slowly breathed.

  
She nodded.

  
"I will explain everything you want to know."

  
"This is useless." she said, turning her eyes toward him. "I remember, now."

  
"You remember?" he asked, feeling his heart beat louder, "Then your memories ..."

  
"No." She shook her head sadly, the first emotion she showed since he had come back. "But I remember what Lancelot meant to me."

  
He felt his heart sunk.

  
"Guinevere." he resumed slowly. "If you don't remember me, you can't remember the whole story."

  
"I know I was in love with him."

  
It was as if she had taken a knife and plunge it in his heart.

  
"Before, yes." he said, with difficulty. "But then, we met, things change and something just happened between us."

  
"Then why would I remember him, and not you? Surely because I loved him more, didn't I? Maybe I was wrong, choosing you, and Destiny is offering me another chance?”

  
Arthur stared at her with so much pain in his eyes that she felt guilty right away.

For his part, he felt as if he was dying.

That the pain was going to kill him here and now.

  
"You don't love Lancelot, Guinevere."

  
"How can you be so sure?”

  
"_Because_." he said loudly. "You ran away the day of your wedding to be with me. This is me you loved. That you love." he corrected himself immediately.

  
"But I don't feel any of that."

  
He got up, not able to keep hearing that. He headed toward the door, with a heavy heart.

  
"I am sorry Arthur, I didn't want to hurt you more." he stopped. "I know it is hard for you, but it is for me too. I don't understand anything that is going on. Today, I met people I don't even remember! Then there is you. I have no idea what to do."

  
He sighed and finally turned around, sitting by her side again.

  
"I know. I am sorry, too." she smiled sadly and he took a deep breath, "Would you like for us... to get to know each other again?”

  
She looked at him and saw his blue eyes filled with hope again.

  
"You are asking me to go on a date with you?"

  
"Why not? You fell in love with me once, why not another time?

  
She shyly smiled and looked down, before breath.

  
"Fine."

  
"Fine, then."

  
She heard the smile in his voice, and, for an unknown reason, she felt as if her stomach was dancing inside of her body.

  
"See you tomorrow." he tenderly whispered and she blushed.

She was doing that a lot around him...

  
"See you tomorrow, Arthur."

  
He got up and left the room, leaving Guinevere alone with her demons.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5:**

None of them really slept that night.

Arthur lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to think about something else other that the fact that the woman he loved above everything, his wife, was in the room just in front of his, with no memories of him, nor their love.

Guinevere was cuddled under the covers, looking at the moon through the window with the curtains open.

For an unknown reason, she felt right with Arthur, but it wasn't enough to become the person he needed her to be, he had to understand that.

She closed her eyes tightly, tried to sleep but opened her eyes a few seconds later, sighing, laying a pillow in her face; the night was going to be long.

* * *

She looked at the clock on her bedside table; 7:01am.

She sighed and sat, rubbing her tired eyes.

Knowing well that she would not fall asleep again, Guinevere removed the covers and got up, before heading toward the door of her room and froze.

She didn't know where to go.

Suddenly, her heart started beating faster, her throat squeezed and she wanted to cry.

She was lost.

In her own house.

It wasn't fair.

She was there in her thoughts when the door in front of her opened and Arthur walked in, shirtless with only a pajama pants, sleepy eyes and his hair all messy.

She blushed suddenly and looked away.

God, he looked good.

  
"I heard you get up, and I thought maybe you would be a little helpless and lost, all alone."

  
She felt a little better, knowing he cared about her.

She then looked down and murmured.

  
"I didn't want to disturb you, I can wait, you know-" she was about to come in her room but he stopped her, laying a hand on her arm before receded it right away.

  
"It's fine. I wasn't asleep anyway."

  
She sweetly smiled to him and he felt his heart stop, she was never more beautiful than when she woke up.

He noticed she seemed uncomfortable then.

  
"Something's wrong, Guinevere?"

  
She hesitated.

  
"You can tell me, you know?”

  
Their eyes locked.

  
"It's just that ..." she waved her hand toward his chest. "I..."

  
_"Oh._" he exclaimed suddenly, and he blushed from his own stupidity. "You would perhaps prefer me to go and put some clothes on?”

  
She nodded shyly and he felt idiot, before stammering.

  
"Yes. Of course. I'm sorry, I ... I didn't want to ... to put you unease."

  
He came in his room and got out, a few minutes after, a white shirt on him.

He smiled shyly and moved forward.

  
"I’ll show you the kitchen."

  
She nodded and they left.

They walked through the living-room, before arriving in a corridor and came in the kitchen.

She let out a gasp, seeing it, and Arthur smiled, looking around himself too.

  
"It is big, isn't it?”

  
"Big?" she resumed. "Arthur, this is huge!”

  
He smiled again.

  
"I know. In fact, this is one of the reasons why we pick this house, you love to cook."

  
"I do?"

  
"Yes."

  
"I remember that." she calmly said.

  
"You are a very good cook." he added.

  
"And what about you?"

  
He shrugged.

  
"I manage." He took a chair and made her sign to sit. "Settle please, I'll make you a breakfast."

  
She hesitated and he showed her the chair again, before she finally sat.

* * *

"It smells good." she finally said and he turned around and gave her an impish smile, before turning back.

  
Guinevere laid a hand on her heart and closed her eyes, trying to calm its beating.

She couldn't understand the effect he had on her but she couldn't deny it anymore.

The feelings hadn't return yet, but the physical attraction never left.

Her mind might still be blocked, her body was very aware he was near her when he was.

This was all very confusing.

She opened her eyes and lowered her hand when she heard him.

  
"I made you a typical English breakfast." To illustrate his point, he laid a plate in front of her. "Bacon, sausages and toast."

  
"Oh Arthur!" she took a piece of bacon and bite it. "Hmmm..." she closed her eyes, enjoying. "Don't ask me again why I married you!"

  
She heard him laugh making her gasp and open her eyes right away, swallowing.

  
"Something wrong?" he asked seriously.

  
"I don't know if someone already told you that, but you've got a beautiful laugh, Arthur."

  
Suddenly, he seemed sad, without her knowing why. He turned around and took a plate, before fill it and sit in front of her. They started eating in silence, and then, couldn't take it anymore. Guinevere gently asked.

  
"Arthur, did I do something wrong?”

  
He shook his head and pushed a piece of sausage from one part of his plate to another.

  
"Then why are you so quiet and serious all of a sudden?"

  
A slight silence settled and he finally raised his wide blue eyes toward her, his wide sad eyes.

  
"Those are things you used to say to me." His voice broke. "It just ... hard."

  
She felt herself pale.

  
"I'm sorry."

  
"Please, don't be."

  
"But ... you're so unhappy because of me and-"

  
"I'm not unhappy because of you, Guinevere." he resumed. "I'm unhappy without you, there's a difference."

  
Their eyes locked but none spoke.

Finally, a phone rang making Gwen jump.

  
"It's mine." breathed Arthur before getting up. "I'll come back soon."

  
And he left the room.

Guinevere laid a hand on her forehead, sighing.

She didn't know how much time she could bear that.

Seeing him as unhappy all by her fault.

* * *

Arthur sighed and took his phone, before frowning and picking up the phone.

  
"Yes, father?”

  
"Arthur, I tried to reach you for days now!" exclaimed the man and Arthur rolled his eyes.

  
"I had other things to do."

  
"And how would you have known, if anything had happened to me?”

  
"By the newspapers I guess, like everyone else."

  
He hadn't meant to say that.

He closed his eyes and shook his head.

  
"Very funny, Arthur." answered his father.

  
"Please excuse me. I am a little ... tired."

  
"Arthur, what I wanted to tell you was-"

  
The young man knew what his father thought of his wedding with Guinevere, and he didn't want to hear about how this was his luck to start all over again, without her.

  
"No, I don't want to listen to you. I know what you're going to tell me. Guinevere is my wife, I will not drop her. I will fight until her memories come back; her memory of me and of our love. I will do that because I love her father, I love her much more than anything else and I know I couldn't live without her. I will not come back to work until she feel well enough to stay alone, you can fire me if you want, I'm good at what I do, I'll find another job. I-"

  
"Arthur." cut him his father. "I wanted to tell you how sorry for you I am."

  
A heavy silence fell on the conversation.

The only proof Uther had that his son was still online was the ragged breath he heard.

  
"I know what it like to lose the woman you love son, and I do not wish that on anyone, especially you."

  
Arthur didn’t understand anything.

  
"I was calling you to tell you that if you or..." he hesitated. “Gwen need anything, all you have to do is call. And I will not fire you Arthur. Your job will be here when your return."

  
Arthur couldn't speak.

  
"And I thought maybe you were too upset to think about it." he cleared his throat. "I have launched an investigation to find out who is responsible for it all, Arthur And believe me, man or woman, or even those responsible for the misfortune of my son, do not have much time to spend in freedom."

  
Arthur didn't believe what he was hearing.

He had to wait for an awful thing for him to see the paternal side of Uther?

Better too late than never, though.

All support would be welcome.

  
"Thank you, dad." he only whispered.

  
"It's nothing."

  
No other words were necessary.

  
"I won’t hold you any longer." resumed the man." Good day, son."

  
"You too."

  
And he hang up the phone, shaken.

Well, this was new.

* * *

When he came back, Guinevere was finishing her breakfast. He leant a few seconds against the kitchen wall and stared at her.

_"Arthur." smiled the young woman. "You're doing it again."_

  
_He smiled and walked towards her, in order to sit by her side on the couch. _

_He brought her toward him and she cuddled in his arms, before letting out a small sigh of contentment. _

  
_"I know." he then said. "I just love the fact that we're truly together, you and I."_

  
_She buried her face in his neck and smiled, soaking in his scent that was so much him._

  
_"You'll have our entire life for that my love ..." she breathed and he laid a hand on her chin, bringing her lips toward his._

Their entire life.

She had been so sure nothing could separate them.

And yet...

He was there, in their kitchen, with the love of his life, a woman who didn't remember him.

Not at all.

Not even a little.

He was nobody to her, and it was breaking his heart more than anything.

He finally resumed and sat in front of her; Guinevere looked up toward him.

  
"Is everything ok?”

  
"Yes." he answered slowly. "It was just my father."

  
She laid her fork and looked at him again, with this look she had, when she wanted him to tell her more about her old life.

  
"You said you had a good relationship with my parents, yeah?”

  
He nodded.

  
"And what about me? Did I have a good relationship with yours? Did they like me?”

  
Arthur almost choked.

This wasn't the easier question.

How to explain her that Uther had start a campaign for him to stop dating her, then divorce her.

How to tell her that his father had never thought her well enough for his son?

That he continued to demean or humiliate her up, even writing a check to leave his son.

How to say this but let her know that it had nothing to do with her?

He sighed.

  
"Arthur?”

  
"My mother died in childbed." he answered then. "I never knew her."

  
"Oh I'm sorry." a slight silence came. "But you had still had your father, right?" she added slowly.

  
"Guinevere." he sighed again, running a hand through his golden hair. "What you must understand is that my father had never been the sensitive type, and after my mother's death, it became worst."

  
She frowned.

  
"He took another wife, three years after and had another child, my little half-sister, Morgana; but even if he genuinely loves her, my father will never love Katherine as much as he loved my mother-"

  
"She was the one true love of his life." whispered Guinevere, tears in her eyes.

  
Arthur slowly nodded.

He felt so close to what his father must have felt now.

If he lost Guinevere, if he lost the only love of his whole life, he could never move on, never.

  
"You didn't answer my question, Arthur." she started again, softly.

  
"Look, you've had ups and downs, mostly downs, because of my father. But now everything is better. He even called me to tell me that if you needed anything, he would help us."

  
"Your father didn't like me?" she whispered, tears in her eyes once again, and he felt his heart break.

  
"Guinevere, it wasn’t you he didn't like. I think on the contrary that what was bothering him the most was that he couldn't find a real reason for hating you."

  
She nodded, thinking, then took a sip of her juice before only said.

  
"We've been through a lot, you and I, haven’t we?”

  
_If only you knew_. Was the only thought of Arthur.

* * *

Guinevere was in her underwear, choosing her clothes when the door opened on Arthur, a towel tied on his waist, droplets of water running from his wet hair.

She let out a small cry and blushed before covering herself with the dress she was holding.

Arthur jumped and blushed too.

  
"Sorry." Then a slight smile came to his lips and he resumed. "Habit."

  
She couldn't help but smile too.

Arthur stared at her a few seconds before leaving, refusing to make her uncomfortable all because he wasn't able to remembering she didn't remember.

It had always been so natural to be with her.

His heart tightens, thinking of that.

* * *

When she got out, sometime later, dressed in a little spring dress, her hair falling on her shoulders, Arthur couldn't help but stare at her.

  
"You look ..." he started, blue eyes wide.

And God if she liked this look on him.

  
"Thanks." she blushed. "You too."

  
And it was right.

With a navy blue polo shirt that highlighted his eyes and beige shorts, he was breathtaking.

She looked down.

  
"Arthur?”

  
"Yes?”

  
"What do I do?”

  
"What do you mean?”

  
"The job I'm doing."

  
"Oh."

  
He smiled and went in order to pick a picture, he held it to her and she saw herself upright, smiling, with a class of twenty students, about 8 years.

  
"You're a teacher. A very good one. The children love you."

  
She slightly smiled.

  
"If you want." he resumed. "I could take you there today, seeing if may help you recall something."

  
She raised grateful eyes toward him.

  
"But, what about you?"

  
"Me?"

  
"What do you do? Aren't you supposed to be at work too?"

  
"I work with my father. But I'm not for now; I'm here to take care of you."

  
"Thank you." she breathed gently and he raised such tender eyes toward her that her breath caught in her throat.

  
"You're welcome." and then he added so softly she thought she could have imagined it, "That's what you do when you love someone."

* * *

They arrived to school quickly and Arthur stopped the car.

  
"Are you sure you want to do this?"

  
She nodded and they walked out of the car.

They came into the building and a woman of a certain age came to them; her hair was made in a tight bun but a friendly stare was lighting her blue eyes.

  
"Alice." smiled Arthur and the woman took him in his arms.

  
"Arthur, dear. How are you?"

  
"I will be okay." he said in a sad voice. Then he turned toward Guinevere. "Come lo-" he stopped and paled. He had almost called her love.

  
When Alice glimpsed the young woman, her eyes fill with tears.

  
"Oh my darling."

  
She took her in her arms and without knowing why, Gwen felt reassured.

  
"This is Alice." resumed Arthur, seeing her upset. "She is the headmistress of the school and my godfather Gaius's wife."

  
Alice took her hand and led her toward a bright office, circling by bay window.

  
"Your students made drawings for you." started the woman. "They are missing you so much ..."

  
"I wish I could say the same..." sadly breathed Guinevere and Alice threw her a sorry look, giving her some papers.

  
Gwen took it and started open it, a lot of 'We love you, Mrs. Pendragon." was all over the painting, with 'we miss you so much' and she felt tears ready to fall on her cheeks.

She laid a trembling hand on her mouth and felt Arthur walked closer to her.

  
"I'm fine." she whispered, holding a hand for him to stop.

She couldn't have him so close to her when she was crying.

Not yet.

She needed more time.

Yes, she felt attracted to him and yes they were getting along so well...

But he was still a stranger to her, for now.

  
He stopped right away.

Each time she was rejecting him like that, he felt as if he was losing her a little more.

Alice saw his despair and took his arm.

  
"I will need your help, little one."

  
He seemed hesitant to go, but Guinevere made him sign that he could.

* * *

Guinevere was lost in the contemplation of the paintings, when a voice made her jump.

  
"Gwen?"

  
She looked up and her heart stopped.

  
"Lancelot?" she asked, not sure of herself.

  
A smile lighted up the man's face and he walked closer.

  
"So, you do remember me?”

  
"Of course I do."

  
He seemed to think then.

  
"I am so happy to see you Gwen, I've missed you so much..." he whispered, taking her hand.

She let him do it.

She felt contradicted feelings about him.

In her head, he was still her boyfriend, as when she was 19; but she was 22 now, and time has passed, she was married.

She suddenly removed her hand.

This was all too confusing.

  
"Are you working here?”

  
"Yes. I just have the level under yours actually."

  
She nodded slowly.

  
"Gwen, we have to talk about-"

  
"Lancelot." whispered coldly a man and Lance straighten up right away.

  
"Arthur."

* * *

Arthur and Alice were walking silently in the corridors, and the young woman felt so sorry for this man she loved like the son she never had.

  
"Everything will be fine, Arthur."

  
He sighed.

  
"You can't know that."

  
She forced him to stop then.

  
"Look at me." but he was avoiding her eyes, so she said, more firmly. "Arthur, look at me." He did and she saw such despair in his blue eyes. She wanted to cry out the unfairness of world. "You must keep in mind that true love conquers all."

  
He seemed to think about that a little, then said.

  
"Perhaps ours is tired of fighting. Perhaps he fought too much, against too many things, and now he is giving up."

  
"Don't say that."

  
"She is rejecting me all the time, Alice." He said in despair.

  
"She is scared."

  
"I am too!”

  
"Put yourself into her shoes"

  
"I know..."

  
He ran a hand in his hair and was ready to speak, when he recognized the person that was near Guinevere.

  
"What is he doing here?” he asked quietly but angrily.

  
Alice followed his stare and saw Lancelot.

They saw him took Gwen's hand and while Arthur tensed, ready to go, Alice retain him;

  
"Trust her."

  
A few seconds later, Guinevere pulled her hand from his.

But Arthur couldn't allow this man near his wife any moment more than necessary and he walked forward quickly.

  
""Gwen, we have to talk about-"

  
_ Sneaky bastard._ Thought Arthur before he said, coldly.

  
"Lancelot."

  
He saw the man tensed and turned around.

  
"Arthur."

  
A heavy silence fell on the room and Guinevere seemed petrified.

She didn't know what to do.

She was lost between what her heart was telling her and what her mind was reminding.

If she was listening to what her heart was telling at the moment, she would go and see Arthur, try to reassure him, one way or another; but it was reassuring for her to go toward Lancelot, because she remembered him, and she felt less alone.

Alice saved her though, by saying.

  
"Lancelot, I think your pupils are awaiting for you, now."

  
They all noticed the fresh tone of her voice, and Arthur only loved the woman more.

Upset by the lost look on his wife's eyes, he promised himself he would not allow Lancelot near Guinevere until her memory had come back.

She was his wife now; he would not let her go that easily.

They were in love.

And one day or another,

She would remember that. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 :**

In the car that was leading them home, all was quiet.

Guinevere was thinking about what she had felt, seeing Lancelot, and what she was feeling now, with Arthur.

Everything was so confusing!

She sighed and saw Arthur looked toward her a few seconds.

  
"Are you ok, Guinevere?"

  
"Yes."

  
A slight smile lighted up his face and he resumed.

  
"You always were a bad liar."

  
She laughed a little.

  
"I'm fine." she resumed. "This is just so ... complicated."

  
He sighed.

  
"I know."

  
"No Arthur." she couldn't help but say. "You can't understand, you know who you are. You remember your life, you remember everything, you don't have that big hole in your head!"

  
He was quiet for a few seconds, and she was scared he was mad at her.

  
"And do you really think this is better?" he asked slightly annoyed.

  
"I beg your pardon?"

  
They arrived at a red light and he turned toward her.

  
"Do you really think this is better to remember everything, all the memories, good and bad, all those feelings; do you really think this is better that I remember you, that I remember how happy we were and how you loved me then? Do you really think this is better that I remember everything while you don't?"

  
She didn't know what to answer and they just stared at each other, until the car behind them honk at them and Arthur started the car again.

  
"I didn't see it that way." she whispered gently.

  
"I know."

  
"I'm sorry for your loss."

  
He had a bitter laugh then, before gently said.

  
"But you're wrong Guinevere, you are not alone. I am here. And even if you don't remember, even if ..." he stopped before resuming. "Even if your memories never come back, I will be here. Always."

  
She couldn't help but lay briefly her hand on his, which was on the gear shift.

  
"Thank you, Arthur."

  
His bright blue eyes locked onto hers a few seconds, and she felt her heart stop.

_"Gwen, my dear?"_

  
_"I'm here, Lancelot." resumed the young woman before wiping her hands and coming in the room._

  
_"I must introduce you to an old friend."_

  
_Gwen walked forward, shyly._

  
_"Here's Merlin Emrys, we went to the same secondary school."_

  
_"Glad to finally meet you." smiled the young man, squeezing her hand._

  
_"As am I."_

  
_"And here a friend of his..."_

  
_But Gwen didn't hear what he said next, her eyes laid on this tall young man, broad shoulder, golden hair and sea blue eyes that stopped her heart. _

_Arthur. _

_What was he doing here? _

_She was planning to call him tomorrow to tell him she had decided to get back with Lancelot. _

_She saw the man frowned slightly, she saw the question in his eyes, then held her a hand._

  
_"Hi I am Arthur."_

  
_She took his hand and thought she was going to pass out. _

_She didn't want to let him go. _

_She didn't how, but she managed to speak._

  
_"I'm Guinevere."_

"Guinevere?”

  
Where was she?

What was happening?

Why this voice kept on calling her?

She didn't want to leave her golden haired man...

  
"Guinevere?"

  
Why had she had the impression that ...

Guinevere finally opened her eyes and saw a very worried Arthur above her.

  
"Arthur?"

  
"Oh God." She saw tears of relief in his eyes and he couldn't help but take her in his arms. "Don't ever do that to me again." he whispered in her hair. "We were talking and you just... fainted. Don't ever do that to me! Understood?"

  
For once, she let him take her in his arms without pushing him away and actually cuddle herself against his muscled chest.

It felt right.

Like memory muscle or something.

She cuddled deeper in his embrace.

Then, it was as if her body knew his embrace, she felt better, really better.

  
"Promise." she whispered and he receded a few seconds in order to check if she had nothing serious.

  
"Are you fine? Any nausea? Nor dizziness? I'm going to take you see Merlin."

  
"Arthur-"

  
"This was not a request, Guinevere."

  
She couldn't say anything else in front of the worry all over his face; she could see he had really been afraid.

At this time, she noticed he had stopped the car and he was now at her side.

Arthur was about to get up and walk toward his seat, but she caught his sleeve.

  
"Guinevere- ?"

  
"I..." she noticed she was exhausted suddenly. “I remembered something."

  
Right away, he kneeled in front of her, fear in his eyes.

  
"I think... I think this was the first time we met."

  
His bright blue eyes filled with hope.

  
"When you crashed into my car?" he asked slowly.

  
She shook her head.

  
"You ... You were with Merlin and when I saw you..."

  
He seemed lost, then.

  
"I was at Lancelot's house and ... and you came ... You were with Merlin and ..."

  
He seemed upset.

He remembered all too well what she was talking of.

That night, when he had seen her, his world had stopped.

He didn't know she was with someone else and he had already begun to fall in love with her.

His heart has been crushed then, and he had to spend all night, pretending they didn't know each other and had watched her with Lancelot.

But he didn't want to speak of that.

It was too painful.

  
"Oh Guinevere ..." he only murmured.

  
His blue eyes filled with tears and he hugged her again, squeezing her tight against him.

She hugged him back this time, and heard him whisper.

  
"We will get through this my love, I know it. I'm sure of it."

  
She didn't know if he was talking to her, or to the old her that was apparently still in her head, but she tighten her hold on him.

* * *

"Arthur? Gwen?" asked a surprise voice behind them.

  
They turned around and saw Freya, surprised.

  
"Hello Freya" started Gwen.

  
"What are you doing here? Are you okay?"

  
"Guinevere passed out earlier." said Arthur. "I wanted to see Merlin, in order to check that everything was fine."

  
"I told him I was fine, but he refuses to listen to me."

  
The young nurse gave them a slight, pensive smile.

  
"Doctor Emrys is operating on someone right now, but I will tell him you're here the moment he has finish."

  
"Thank you." resumed Arthur.

  
The nurse gave them another smile, and left.

* * *

"Are you feeling well?"

  
"Yes, Arthur." she smiled slowly. "I am fine."

  
"Are you sure?"

  
"Yes."

  
"You would tell me otherwise, wouldn't you?”

  
Suddenly, she laughed and it was as if his heart was starting beating again.

Since she has said that she remembered their first encounter, Arthur started to hope again.

Hope that maybe, things would go well.

At least he was in these memories.

It was as if someone had sent him a sign.

As if in the moment where he was losing faith, Guinevere had sent him a sign.

  
"Arthur? Gwen?"

  
They both got up, seeing Merlin arriving.

  
"Hi Merlin." started Arthur." I'm sorry to disturb you this way, but I wanted to check on something with you."

  
"Nonsense, you two never bother me."

  
He turned toward Guinevere.

  
"I heard you passed out?"

  
She nodded shyly.

  
"This isn't grave, is it?" asked Arthur.

  
“How did it happen?" asked Merlin, making them sign to sit.

  
"I don't know ..." started Guinevere before frowning slightly. "We were talking and... I felt a headache coming on."

  
"Had you got a flash?" asked gently Merlin. "A memory which came from nowhere, just like that?"

  
She nodded again.

  
"And what did you remember, if I may ask?"

  
She blushed and looked down.

  
"Our first encounter."

  
"Ours?" asked Merlin, surprised.

  
"Merlin." sighed Arthur in this way he had.

  
"Yours!" exclaimed Merlin, a smile creeping on his face. "That's a great news Gwen!"

  
She smiled a little.

  
"But why did she pass out?"

  
The doctor became serious again.

  
"It can occur when a memory is too intense." he seemed to think. "Are you tired?"

  
"Exhausted." she answered.

  
"Yes. That's what I thought..."

  
"So?"

  
"So, it will surely do that to you my dear, it will be very likely that you will feel headaches coming on again, but not always. Memories; especially intense one's can carry a lot of emotion and a lot of baggage which could cause you to feel faint and very tire; hence why you past out. But this is also a good sign of recovery Gwen; your memories are coming back."

  
He smiled at them.

  
"Can you do an MRI still, please?" asked Arthur, "Just to be sure?"

  
"Arthur ..." started Gwen.

  
"Of course I can." he got up. "Please my lady, follow me."

  
She laughed then got up and threw a scared look toward Arthur, who hurried to say.

  
"I won't move."

  
She smiled at him and followed Merlin.

Seeing them leave, laughing and talking joyously, Arthur couldn't help but hope.

Hope his Guinevere would come back to him.

Hope she was still in there, somewhere.

He just had to fight for her one last time.

* * *

"Merlin." started slowly Gwen and he turned toward her.

  
"Yes”

  
She seemed to hesitate.

  
"Do you really think all of my memory will come back?"

  
He gave her a comforting smile and squeezed her hand with affection.

  
"I'm sure of it. Most people with amnesia never get their memories back. You're one of the lucky few."

* * *

**AP:Guinevere remembered the time we met, at Lancelot's.**

A few seconds later, his phone vibrated.

Mithian.

She was one of his bestfriends.

Merlin was his absolute best friend ( not that he would admit it); Morgana then, and Mithian.

She was family, they had known each other almost all of their lives.

**ML :Arthur! This is so great! I am so happy for you :)**

He smiled, then become serious again.

**AP:I am afraid of losing her, Mithian.**

**ML:Oh no darling, everything will be fine. Your love is stronger than anything, I'm sure of it.**

**AP:Everyone keeps telling us that, but what if it isn't enough? What if she returns to Lancelot like she once did? I won't survive this Mithian; I can't see her walk away from me. Not again.**

A few seconds later, someone was calling him.

He should have known, Mithian was never the more patient woman in the world.

  
"Arthur?"

  
"That's me."

  
"You have to stop being so negative, everything will be fine."

  
"You don't know that."

  
"I am a medium; didn't you know that, since all those years?”

  
He laughed then.

  
"Listen, Guinevere is there, somewhere - I know she is -." she resumed seriously. "And if someone can bring her back to us, I'm sure this person is you. You're the love of her life, Arthur."

  
He didn't answer but closed his eyes, tight.

He needed to hear that.

He needed this courage.

  
"Thank you Mithian." he breathed.

  
"Anytime." he could hear her smile.

  
At this time, he saw Guinevere and Merlin come back.

  
"I must leave you." he then said, "Thank you for everything."

  
"Bye Arthur, let me know how things are going."

  
"I promise."

  
And he hang up the phone.

When Gwen saw it, she frowned but didn't say a word.

  
"So?" asked Arthur.

  
"So everything with this young lady is fine." smiled Merlin, "Just a good night to sleep and all this would be nothing but a bad memory."

  
"Thank you Merlin."

  
He smiled toward them and turned toward Gwen.

  
"Trust yourself, Gwen."

  
"I'll try."

* * *

In the car, Arthur and Guinevere were talking of all sort of things, when she dared ask him what was troubling her since they left the hospital.

  
"Arthur, with who were you on the phone, earlier?"

  
He looked at her.

  
"With Mithian."

  
_"Oh._" she breathed and turned toward the window looking annoyed.

She didn't say anything but she looked troubled.

She didn't saw the smile that lighted up Arthur's face.

  
"We won't have to have this discussion again, will we?"

  
"What discussion?" she asked in a colder voice, couldn't helping herself.

Once again, it felt like something inside of her was acting for her.

_Someone _inside of her.

  
"The one when I told you over and over that there is nothing going on with her."

  
She was ready to answer something but when she turned her head toward him and saw his eyes literally sparkle, the words died on her throat.

Her anger disappeared and she couldn't help but blush.

Again.

  
"I believe you." she breathed.

  
"I sure hope so!" he smiled.

  
"Stop making fun of me."

  
She was trying to stay serious but a smile was escaping her.

This seemed so casual.

  
"I wouldn't dare."

  
"Of course."

  
He laughed again and resumed, a little more seriously.

  
"Merlin said you must sleep tonight."

  
"Yes, I'm very tired. It has been a long day."

He seemed to think about something, then.

  
"So, I suppose we just have to go out another time?"

  
She looked up toward him and saw the question in his bright blue eyes.

  
"Yes, Arthur. I would like that very much."

  
He smiled and focused on the road, trying not to show how happy he was.

  
"Saturday night?"

  
"I have to check schedule. I'm a very busy woman, you know."

  
He laughed.

God, she loved making him laugh.

  
"Saturday night will be perfect." she resumed sweetly. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter7:**

They finally came home.

  
"Do you want to eat something?" asked Arthur.

  
"Please."

  
He nodded and headed toward the kitchen, while she was browsing in the living-room, looking around her.

She saw a board with papers, pictures ...

And, raising one paper, she saw a little yellow post-it note.

  
_You're to my life what sun is to the Earth._   
_I love you._   
_Arthur._

  
She felt tears prickled at her eyes and, in a trembling hand, she stroked the piece of paper.

They were that kind of couple then, the kind who wrote little love notes when they left the house?

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

Why didn't she remember?

  
"Guinevere?”

  
She jumped.

He was there, at the door.

  
"I'm fine." she said.

  
He walked toward her slowly and saw the post-it, paling slightly.

  
"Oh."

  
None of them spoke for a little time then.

  
_He heard the door open and knew right away who was there. _

_He didn't turn around and kept on looking by the window. _

  
_"Arthur..."_

  
_"Can you tell me what game you're playing, Guinevere?”_

  
_He turned around and saw her glassy eyes._

  
_"I..." she started. “I..."_

  
_"We’ve been dating for weeks."_

  
_"I know." she whispered, looking down._

  
_"And did it ever occur to you to tell me that you were already in a relationship?"_

  
_He asked angrily, making her jump._

  
_"So what?" he asked, letting his anger take over and she looked up. "Was this some sick twisted game of yours? Were you just playing with me? Having some fun at my expense?" she was horrified he could think that and her heart start beating faster. "And to think I was starting to ..." he stopped himself and seeing the pain in his blue eyes, she felt distraught. "I think we don't have anything more to say to each other." _

_He almost confessed. His heart was breaking; he had to leave with whatever dignity he had left._

  
_ He was starting to leave._

  
_"Arthur, wait." she whispered, her voice trembling._

  
_He stopped and she resumed, weakly._

  
_"I wasn’t playing with you. I wasn't with Lancelot anymore when I agree to go out with you. I was calling you tomorrow in order to ... to tell you that I got back with my ex." he refused to look at her and her heart broke more, she added. "You... You have this strange effect on me." she looked down before saying. "I am drawn to you. I can't help it." She looked up and saw he was looking at her too, frowning slightly. "But I agree to give myself and Lancelot another chance. I am with Lancelot now, and I can't do that to him. I'm sorry." She said with tears in her eyes._

  
_He stared at her a few seconds then only murmured an "I see." and left._

  
"Arthur?"

  
The young man blinked and gave a sorry smile toward Guinevere.

  
"What were you thinking?"

  
"Nothing." he resumed quickly and she frowned.

  
"Tell me."

  
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

  
"Come and eat. I'll explain to you."

* * *

They settle at the table and started eating.

  
"Tell me now, Arthur."

  
"I'm not sure that is a good idea."

  
"Please, I want to know."

  
He suddenly looked very tired and for the umpteenth time, she blamed herself for that.

  
"Listen." he cleared his throat. "Earlier, you didn't remember our first encounter."

  
She frowned and seemed lost, he resumed.

  
"Actually, we have seen each other before this time ... in his house."

  
"I don't get it, Arthur."

  
He stared at her a few seconds and sighed again.

  
"We have met some 3 weeks before, you crashed into my car and ... it was love at first sight."

  
She laid her fork, attentive.

  
"We went out on a few dates. Each night we went out together was magical. We spent our days talking to each other and I was already falling in love with you, as were you."

  
"I still don’t understand."

  
"This night, when we met again, I discovered you had a boyfriend. A boyfriend that wasn't me."

  
Gwen gasped in shock.

  
"Oh God."

  
"It was not your fault, Guinevere. We were drawn to each other, we couldn't help it."

  
She was quiet for a few times then.

  
"So, I cheated on Lancelot? I was really that kind of woman?” She said horrified.

  
He tried to take her hand but she recede it.

She didn't see the pain cross his stare.

  
"You didn't cheat on Lancelot, Guinevere." Arthur was trying to remain calm. "You two weren't together when you agreed to go out with me. But you chose ..." he swallowed, hardly. "You chose to let him have another chance. You didn't want to hurt him; this is why you tried to stay away from me. You are a good woman. That wasn't your fault."

  
She nodded, not convinced, before getting up.

  
"I'm tired"

  
"Why don’t you go and take a nap." resumed Arthur gently. "I'll wash this."

  
She got up and he did the same.

The young woman stared at him a few seconds.

  
"When I wake up later, I want you to tell me our story."

  
He nodded and she walked away.

  
"Sleep well." he breathed tenderly.

  
She stopped, like she was a statue suddenly, but didn't answer.

Once she was gone, Arthur let himself fall on his chair and put his face on his hands.

This was so difficult.

Watching her so far away from him...

He couldn't take much more of her distance.

It was killing him.

* * *

He came into the room, without making noise, and saw her, sound asleep.

Softened, he walked closer and watched her sleep, reminding himself how much he loved that.

He could spend his life doing this.

Instead, he stroked her cheek and tenderly kissed her lips and she moved a little, smile lighting up her face.

He sighed and murmured very low that he loved her, before leaving the room.

* * *

A little over an hour later, Arthur was working on his computer, when the doorbell rang.

Hurrying to open the door before the sound could wake up Guinevere; he ran at the door and opened it before a big smile light up his face.

  
"Hello, big brother."

  
"Morgana!" he smiled, before she laid her bag and ran into his arms.

  
When they broke apart, he walked away from the door and made her sign to come in.

  
"Come in, please."

  
She smiled at him and came.

  
"I'm so glad to see you, Morgana."

  
She turned around and smiled at him.

  
"I am too."

  
"Where have you been all this time?”

  
"Here and... there."

  
He gave her a reproving look and she hurried to say.

  
"But I didn't came again to speak about me, Arthur."

  
She walked closer again and squeezed him again, tight.

  
"I'm so sorry for the accident."

  
He squeezed her back and when they receded, a sad look was in his little sister emerald stare.

Morgana was his half-sister, but Arthur loved her as if she was his own blood.

  
"How is she?”

  
"She's sleeping."

  
"You?”

  
He hesitated then and she took his hand.

  
"Arthur?”

  
"Bad." he whispered. "I am pretty bad."

  
"Oh my poor-"

  
She was going to end her sentence when a noise could be heard; they turned around and saw Gwen, in front of the door.

The young woman, woken up by the noise, had gotten up in order to see what it was.

Seeing Arthur with a woman, she had first felt strangely cheated on, but seeing the young woman, long ebony hair, pale skin and emerald eyes, she recognized the woman as Arthur's half-sister, on the pictures.

  
"Oh Gwen." whispered the young woman, walking hesitantly toward her. "Do you know me?"

  
"Arthur showed me pictures."

  
Tears were forming in the woman's eyes.

  
"We’ve being the best friends in the whole world, for years. I was often away those years, but that didn’t prevent us from keep in touch, every day."

  
Guinevere stared at her, she seemed sincere.

  
"I am sorry ..."

  
"That's nothing. You will remember."

  
Guinevere looked toward Arthur, whose intensity made her chill.

He ended however, asking his sister.

  
"And how long are you staying?"

  
"Oh, just for tonight. I don't want to intrude."

  
"Morgana-"

  
"No, Arthur." she cut him. "Just, dad and my mum are going home only tomorrow and you know how much I hate being alone."

  
"I know." he smiled tenderly toward her and Guinevere felt her heart melt, seeing him so close to his sister.

  
"I will go and lay my bag in my room."

  
"Please, go."

  
Once Morgana gone, Arthur walked closer to his wife.

  
"Did you sleep well?”

  
"Very well, thank you."

  
She gave him a little smile and he seemed suddenly to think of something.

  
"What's happening?"

  
"Don't talk about Merlin, under any circumstances."

  
"Why?" she frown.

  
They heard Morgana came back and Arthur just got the time to whisper.

  
"I'll explain to you, it's a long story."

* * *

"So, what do we do this afternoon?" asked finally Morgana.

  
"I don't know. What do you want to do, Guinevere?”

  
"I don't know. I'm still a little tired; I think I will stay home."

  
"Me too, then." resumed Arthur.

  
"No, please go and have fun!"

  
"I'm fine."

  
"Arthur, I don't need a baby-sitter! I can manage alone. I don't need you."

  
She saw she had hurt him and regretted right away.

He added nothing but look at his shoes.

  
"Anyway, I had to see a few friends, while I'm here." added Morgana, getting up, she laid a kiss on Arthur's cheek and stroked his shoulder. "I'll be here tonight."

  
And in a few seconds, she was outside, leaving Arthur and Guinevere alone, once more.

  
"Arthur, I-"

  
"No need to explain."

  
He got up and walked toward his room.

  
"I'll be in my room, if you need me. Even if apparently, you get tired of having me."

  
Tears were forming in the young woman's eyes, but he didn't saw it.

Arthur was exhausted, it’s been days since he had had total night’s sleep, he was always forcing himself to be joyful for Guinevere's sake, but today, as he was losing the only thing he had ever loved, he was too tired to pretend ...

* * *

Finally, after half an hour, someone knocked at Arthur's door.

  
"Come in." he muttered.

  
She came in and found him laid down on his bed.

Seeing her arrive, he sat up.

He seemed sad, exhausted, and his hair was all messy.

  
"I wanted to apologize for earlier."

  
"And I for shouting on you."

  
They both smiled a little smile and he made her sign to come closer.

She did and sat shyly beside him, on his bed.

He stared at her and she suddenly asked.

  
"Do you think we'll succeed? Getting back what we had?"

  
He seemed to think then.

  
"I hope that more than anything else."

  
"And what if we don't?"

  
Again, he hesitated.

  
"We could... maybe... if this is what you want of course... rebuild something."

  
She didn't answer and watched him at her turn, before raising a hand to stroke his hair.

The gesture was so tender he had to close his eyes for a few seconds, and she let her hand get lost on his cheek before she recede it.

  
"You didn't answer." he murmured, his eyes still closed.

  
"That's because I don't know what to tell you, Arthur." she said in the same tone. "That's much too soon for me."

  
He opened his eyes and she saw the ocean that it was full of apprehension, fear, and hope too.

  
"I will wait you know, if this is what you want."

  
"I sure hope so."

The words had left her mouth before she could think of it, as if it was the most natural thing to say ever.

And she found out that she really meant them.

* * *

They prepared the meal together, speaking, laughing.

And when Morgana came in, Arthur was running behind a laughing Guinevere; Morgana leant on the doorway and smiled, before slightly knocking, signaling she was here.

They jumped and turned toward her.

  
"Oh, hello Morgana." smiled Arthur. "Dinner is almost ready."

  
"Wonderful." she answered. "I just have to change my clothes, and I’ll come eat."

  
When she was gone again, Guinevere gave this look to Arthur.

  
"Why did you ask me not to talk her about Merlin?"

  
He sighed and ran a hand in his hair which, foolishly, made Guinevere's heart missing a beat.

  
"Why?”

  
"Morgana and Merlin, they... they used to date."

  
The young woman's eyes widened.

  
"And it ended pretty badly actually."

  
This time, she frowned.

  
"Listen, my sister wasn't ready to settle down, and Merlin didn't... he didn't get that."

  
"His heart has been broken?"

  
"Something like that." breathed Arthur in a sad voice. "He is slowly recovering from that, but don't talk to him about her neither."

  
"Promise." she whispered.

  
He nodded and they keep on preparing the dinner.

  
"Arthur?"

  
He looked up.

  
"Thank you."

  
A slight smile lighted up his gorgeous face while he resumed what he was doing.

They did not saw Morgana, behind the door, a tear rolling down her cheek.

* * *

"It was delicious, Arthur." smiled Morgana, one hand on her stomach.

  
"Actually, Guinevere helped me a lot."

  
The young woman smiled slightly at that and got up.

  
"Please excuse me; I have to go to the loo."

  
She threw a look toward Arthur, then left.

Once alone, siblings started to speak lowly.

  
"She seems fine." started Morgana.

  
"It depends on the days. Some she refused that I get close to her." ended sadly her big brother.

  
"You're her landmark, Arthur, the only person who, while she doesn't even remember why, she knows she can trust."

  
"I'm not sure of that ..."

  
"Of course it is. Some hours with the both of you and I notice that! She always check you'll stay here when she leaves a room, she looks at you every two seconds and-"

  
"Morgana." cut her gently Arthur. "I thank you for what you're trying to do."

  
He looked down.

  
"You miss her, don't you?"

  
She had said that in such a gentle voice, Arthur felt his vision blurred.

But he wanted to stay strong. He had to.

  
"Oh Arthur..."

  
"I... I... After all we've been through I just thought that ..." he tried to contain himself but it was only getting harder and harder. "And now..."

  
His little sister laid a hand on his, her wide emerald eyes full of tears.

  
"I know."

* * *

On her side, Guinevere left the loo and decided to go and fetch a jacket, since she was a little cold.

While she was getting out of her room, her phone buzzed; first, she ignored it but soon, the curiosity took the lead and she turned around and picked her phone.

Who could it be? She opened the text and her blood froze.

  
**We have to speak.**   
**Lancelot.**

  
Guinevere felt her legs give up on her; she should never have opened this text.

She would want Arthur to be there, for him to tell her what to do.

She almost ran to him but, remembering the pain in his eyes the time she spoke about Lancelot, she did not.

No.

She must handle that, alone.

  
**I don't think this would be a good idea.**

  
**Forget a little about Arthur, won’t you? I'll explain to you everything that you want to know. And you owe me that, since you left me at the altar.**

  
She thought she was going to faint.

She didn't do that, did she?

But she wanted answers and Arthur didn't want to give it to her.

She took a deep breath...

  
"Guinevere, is everything alright?" asked suddenly Arthur and she almost dropped her phone.

  
"I'm fine!" she answered, her voice shaking just the tiny bit. "I'm coming right away."

  
She hurried to text an answer, then threw her phone on her bed and resumed her way toward the living room.

On her phone, one sentence, only one.

  
**Join me at the school, tomorrow afternoon.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Guinevere woke up, with an awful headache.

She grunted a little and laid a hand on her forehead, before she looked at the clock on her bedside table, 8:10 am.

She stayed a few seconds more in her bed before getting up.

She saw Arthur's door open and understood he was up too.

Slowly, she headed toward the kitchen, without making any noise, when she heard their conversation.

  
"You look exhausted, dear brother."

  
"I'm fine."

  
"Arthur..."

  
"Look, Morgana, it’s my job to take care of Guinevere."

  
"And who takes care of you?" she asked gently and Gwen felt her heart stopped.

  
A slight silence came then, and when she heard them talk about other things, she came in, shyly.

Right away, she saw Arthur's eyes laid on her with such tenderness that she felt bad for what she will do.

She'll lie to him.

He didn't deserve that.

  
"Good morning, Guinevere." he breathed and she sat at the table.

  
"Hello." she answered. "You are leaving us, today?" she asked slowly toward Morgana, hoping she would not, hoping that Arthur would not be alone while she would be with Lancelot.

She didn't even know what to tell him.

  
"Yep." smiled the young woman. "I'm coming home for a few days."

  
Guinevere nodded, thoughtful.

  
"Are you ok?" asked Arthur, and she looked up toward him. He raised his hand to squeeze her but she hid it quickly.

She couldn't accept his comfort.

Not when she was about to do what she was.

  
"Yes."

  
Arthur forced himself to smile and removed his hand, heartbroken.

Today would be a day without.

He had the feeling that each time they were getting closer, it was for getting further apart.

He felt exhausted by all that.

He couldn't bear it anymore.

He wanted his wife back.

He wanted his life back.

His didn't have any strength anymore.

Morgana looked at the both of them and excused herself, thinking them to need to have some private time.

  
"If you would excuse me, I'm gonna pack."

  
And in a smile, she was gone.

Guinevere then laid her cup and took her chance to talk with Arthur.

She felt horrible for what she was doing, but she needed to do it.

  
"Arthur?"

  
He looked up, tired eyes.

  
"Yes?"

  
"You look exhausted." she couldn't help but notice.

And she was getting used to this silent part of her who was raising from time to time, this part of her she didn't understand and seemed to come from deep inside.

And that part was worried.

  
"I'm fine." he breathed. "What do you want to talk to me about?"

  
She took a deep breath.

  
"I would like to go to the school this afternoon." she finally said. "And stay for a while for ... you know ... see if my memories come back."

  
His stare light up then and he smiled.

It was official, she hated herself.

  
"Of course Gwen, I'll take you there."

  
"You never call me Gwen." she then noticed and she didn’t like it.

  
"That's true." he laughed calmly. "I like you name."

  
She frowned slightly.

"I don't."

"I know." he smiled like it was some kind of private joke. "Actually, do you know I am the one you allow to call you by your full name?"

"Really?" she raised an eyebrow and he nodded, smiling. "Why?"

"I don't really know." And then he looked sad again, "Something about you liking the way I say it..." his voice broke and they say nothing for a few seconds. It was true she liked it better when he said it, but she'd rather he called her Gwen, like everyone else. She was about to tell him that when he asked. "When do you want us to go?"

  
"Us?"

  
"Of course. I'm not leaving you."

  
Guinevere panicked.

It wasn't how she had planned thing to go.

She should see Lancelot, without Arthur.

  
"Arthur." she resumed slowly, hesitantly. "I'd prefer it if I could be alone."

  
He frowned.

  
"I am never alone."

  
"But, what will you do?"

  
"Stay with Alice, visit my children, that kind of things."

  
"But-"

  
"Arthur, please! I just want to be alone! Is this possible for you?" she get carried away and right away, she regretted it, seeing the pain and hurt invading his blue eyes.

  
He then ended his cup and got up, before finally saying in a voice that had nothing to do with its usual warmth.

  
"Fine. Tell me when you want to go."

  
"Where are you going?" she asked, panicking at the only idea of him leaving her behind.

And that was something she still couldn't expalin, the fear she had he would leave her behind.

  
"To bed." was his only answer.

* * *

Arthur hadn't come to eat at midday, leaving Gwen manage on her own.

He had not left his room and Gwen felt guilty.

She had not dared disturb him but now, she needed him to take her to Lancelot.

She then slowly headed toward his door and knocked.

  
"Arthur?" she asked, opening the door slowly. She glimpsed him laid down on his bed, staring at the ceiling. “Arthur?”

  
"That's me."

  
"I need ..."

  
A humorless laugh escaped him and she felt frozen.

  
"Of course. You driver will be ready in a minute, my lady."

  
She felt tears in her eyes and murmured a trembling 'thank you' before hurrying outside.

Arthur sighed and hit his forehead; he had not meant to be so mean.

He got up quickly and joined Guinevere who was waiting for him, tears rolling down her cheeks, arms bracing herself.

He walked closer and when she saw him, she looked elsewhere.

  
"Guinevere, I-" he started, but the words died in his throat.

  
A slight silence came then.

He didn't know what to do.

One time, he had the feeling his Guinevere was there, and the next minute, she was colder and more distant than ever.

He was just a man.

That was hard to handle.

Almost impossible and today, he couldn’t take more.

  
"I'm sorry." he resumed and she wiped her face.

  
"No, I am sorry." she said, her voice shaking. "Maybe all that was a bad idea"

  
He frowned.

  
"I should never have come."

  
This time, his heart stopped.

  
"Guinevere..."

  
"No." she cut him. "You're unhappy. And that's too hard for me."

  
He felt tears pricked at his eyes too.

He couldn't lose her.

He wasn't strong enough for that.

  
"Don't speak like that..."

  
"I think the best is that I leave."

  
He stayed speechless for a few seconds; then, panic won over.

  
"No."

  
She turned around and froze, seeing tears in his beautiful blue eyes.

  
"Arthur, I-"

  
“Where will you go? Tell me; where will you go?”

  
“Uhh…”

  
“Exactly, whether you like it or not this is your home. Guinevere I’m your home, and I’m not just saying that to convince you to stay. You once told me I was your home. So you see Guinevere this is where you belong, with me. I know this a hard but we got to work together to make this work. So please don't leave. I'm sorry I've been such an arse. I'm exhausted these days but ... it won’t happen again. Just..." he walked toward her but stopped suddenly, as if he had reminded homself of something. "Don't leave me." he whispered weakly and she felt as if she was dying inside.

_"No." he resumed weakly. "Don't leave me. I'm begging you."_

  
_He looked at the woman, tears rolling down her cheeks too, and tried to walk closer but she didn't let him._

  
_"Guinevere-"_

  
_"Don't -Guinevere- me, Arthur." she said in a weak voice too. "I can't anymore."_

  
_He looked down._

  
_"I CAN'T ANYMORE!" she screamed. "He is your father, what's wrong with him?! Why is he doing this..." her voice broke and he walked toward her this time, taking her in his arms. _

_She tried to walk away, but he held her tight against him. _

_"Let go of me!"_

  
_"Never." he whispered fiercely and she stopped debating herself. "I would never let go of you. I love you more than anything in the world, Guinevere; I think you don't even realize how much."_

  
_He felt her sobs stop and she raised her red and swollen eyes toward him. _

  
_"Your father hates me."_

  
_"It’s not with my father that I want to spend the rest of my life with."_

  
_She laughed a small, watery laugh then._

  
_"But it matters to me."_

  
_"Guinevere, I beg you. Don't do this."_

  
_Again, sobs took her and she buried her face in her boyfriend's shoulder, while he was squeezing her tight against him._

  
_"I ... I lo...ove you so mu...uch..." she sobbed._

  
Guinevere laid a hand on her forehead and felt her vision blurred, vaguely hearing Arthur's voice.

She felt her legs giving up on her but, before she fell on the ground, a warm and hard body caught her.

  
"Arthur..." she whispered, in a dizzy state.

  
"I'm here." he answered firmly. "I'm here my love."

  
He settled her on a chair and stayed by her side, until her eyelids opened totally.

She saw him worried.

  
"Are you feeling better?"

  
She nodded.

  
"Do you want a glass of water?"

  
"Please."

  
Her voice was rough, as if she had not speak in a long time; he hurried to bring her water. She drank it and thanked him lowly.

  
"Did you remember something?"

  
She hesitated.

  
"Nothing that matters." she finally whispered, and she saw the disappointment in his face, before he got up in order to hide it.

  
"If you still want to go to school, I don't mind driving you there."

  
"Thank you."

  
She got up and followed him.

* * *

The car was quiet.

Guinevere didn't stop asking herself why she had not told the truth to Arthur.

She remembered a fight with him, a fight when she wanted to run away from him, where he had try to stop her by telling her that he loved her above all else.

She felt like she was about to faint then.

Because she clearly remembered saying something like that too.

Then, why, if she was remembering that, wasn't she feeling the intensity of that?

That was surely the real reason of her silence. She didn't want to hurt Arthur more that he already was.

_Trust yourself Gwen._ Merlin's voice came to mind; but she couldn't take the risk to trust herself for now, she was doing all wrong, she was making Arthur unhappy.

And something was scaring her more than anything.

What if her memories came back but her feelings never did?

What then?

* * *

They arrived in front of the school and Arthur stopped the car.

  
"At what time do you want me to come and fetch you?"

  
She seemed to think.

  
"4 pm. If you can."

  
"No problem."

  
She was about to leave the car, but he caught her arm gently.

  
"Guinevere, I am so sorry for ... you know... earlier."

  
She gave him à soft smile.

  
"It's already forgotten Arthur, see you later."

  
He smiled too and let her leave, watching her walk in the school, lost in his thoughts for a few moment.

  
_"We’re here." breathed the young man._

  
_"I can't."_

  
_"Guinevere-" started Arthur but she turned her face toward him and he saw the tears in this eyes he loved so much._

  
_"I can't. Not after all that happened." _

_She looked down and impulsively, he got out of the car, before opening her door and kneeling in front of her. _

_At the beginning, she avoided his stare, but he laid a tender hand on her cheek and she closed her eyes, leaning against this hand before finally plunged in his ocean stare._

  
_"You'll get through this, my love." he whispered. "All will be fine."_

  
_"I left him at the altar!" she whispered, terrified. "How will it be fine?"_

  
_"Trust me."_

  
_She nodded weakly and buried her face in his neck, searching bravery there._

  
_"You won’t even have to speak to him.” he resumed, stroking her hair. "And before you noticed it, I'll be here, waiting for you."_

  
_She nodded slowly and receded a little. _

_He wiped her tears in a tender gesture and she leant in, closing her lips over his. _

_He answered that kiss and deepened it, while Guinevere was losing herself in him, his lips, his hands, his scent, all. _

_They finally break apart, breathless._

  
_"I am here." he whispered and she laid her forehead against his, before kissing him again and receded._

  
_"I'm ready."_

  
_He got up, helped her out of the car and kissed her once again before letting her go. He watched her go upstairs and then disappeared into the school..._

And then he was brought back to reality.

Brusquely.

Painfully.

Guinevere wasn't there anymore.

His Guinevere wasn't there anymore.

The woman that loved him with all of her heart was gone; and he was not even sure he would see her again.

Arthur wiped a tear that was rolling down his cheek, started the car and, after taking one last look, he left.

* * *

Guinevere, hesitatingly, walked toward Lancelot's office.

She knocked and hesitated once again, before taking a deep breath and pushing the door.

He was there, at his desk, and once again, opposite feeling took her.

She tried to clear her mind, but he was staring at her so intensely that she couldn't.

  
"You came."

  
"Yes." she only answered, sitting on a chair. “Don’t you have class?"

  
"Not on Fridays afternoon. Why are you really here?"

  
"I wanted to know."

  
"What?"

  
"Everything."

* * *

Arthur pushed the door and sighed, before look at his watch, 2 p.m.

It was going to be long afternoon.

He took his phone and frowned, seeing incoming calls; his father, Merlin, an unknown number.

He took his phone and called his father first, after a few seconds, the man picked up.

  
"Hello?"

  
"Father?"

  
"Arthur." answered the man. “Where were you? I’ve been trying to reach you."

  
The young man sighed.

Some things never changed.

  
"I was with Guinevere, why did you call?"

  
"Because there is news about the investigation. I gave your number to the inspector; he must have tried to reach you."

  
"I have an unknown call."

  
"That must be him. Call him back."

  
"Father?"

  
"Do it Arthur." only answered Uther. "I must go now, I’ll call you later."

  
"Very well." sighed Arthur, slightly lost.

  
"Goodbye."

  
"Goodbye."

  
The young man frowned and dialed his best friend's number, which answered right away.

  
"You could have told me." he said, accusatory.

  
"What?"

  
"That she was back."

  
Arthur suddenly felt stupid.

  
"Oh God. Merlin, I am sorry."

  
No answer.

  
"Please, don't be mad at me. I ... I know this is not an excuse but things are pretty bad with Guinevere and ... I didn't think ... forgive me."

  
He heard Merlin sighed.

  
"Fine." grunted Merlin. "How long is she staying?"

  
"I don't know." breathed Arthur. "Not long, I imagine."

  
Another silence.

Arthur felt suddenly bad for his best friend.

  
"How do you even know she is here?"

  
"Katherine." he only answered. "She was here; in the hospital."

  
"Oh no..." muttered Arthur.

  
"She didn't stop telling me just how much it was sad that our story ended up that way." a bitter laugh escaped him. “As if it was my fault."

  
"Merlin-"

  
"And this isn't the worst. Freya was there."

  
"Shit." let out Arthur.

  
"As you said. She is been avoiding me ever since."

  
Arthur thought a few seconds.

  
"You have to talk to her."

  
"Never." answered Merlin categorically. "How could you even tell me that? I know she is your sister but-"

  
"I wasn't talking about Morgana, Merlin. You have to speak to Freya. Explain to her, tell her how you feel."

  
"I can't." answered sadly the doctor.

  
"Of course you can! You are Merlin Emrys, you save lives on a daily basis! Of course you can tell this girl what you feel for her!"

  
"Do you think so?" asked weakly Merlin.

  
"I'm sure of it."

  
Another silence.

Again.

  
"Fine."

  
"Go on, buddy."

  
"Thanks, Arthur."

  
"Anytime."

  
He heard his friend laugh slightly and a few seconds later, the line went dead.

Arthur dialed then the third number.

  
"Inspector Mordred, I'm listening?"

  
"Arthur Pendragon, here."

  
A slight silence and Arthur felt suddenly anxious.

  
"Mr. Pendragon, I have so much to tell you ..."

* * *

"And he doesn't say a thing to you?" asked in a mean way Lancelot and Gwen couldn't help but take Arthur's defense.

  
"I don't want to ask him."

  
"Why?"

  
"I don't want to hurt him."

  
He leaned in his chair.

  
"But you don’t mind hurting me?" he asked bitterly.

  
She looked down feeling guilty.

He stood up then and settled on his desk, in front of her.

  
"What do you remember exactly?"

  
She looked at him and saw just how close they were.

Too close.

She felt suddenly uncomfortable.

Which was strange.

She never felt uncomfortable with Arthur; troubled but not uncomfortable.

  
"My memories stop the summer of my 19."

  
A pensive smile lighted up his face.

  
"We were so in love at that time ..."

  
She looked down.

  
"What happened, then?"

  
"I'm not sure." he sighed and looked at the ceiling a few seconds. "We broke up for a few times."

  
"Why?"

  
"You wanted space." he resumed bitterly. "To think."

  
She looked down.

  
"And I don't exactly know how, but you met Arthur, you two started to see each other, but we got back together."

  
"Why?"

  
"I convinced you to give us a second chance."

  
"Did you know about Arthur?"

  
"Not until you left the day of our wedding."

  
"I'm sorry for that." she breathed and he stayed quiet a few seconds, before saying with hate.

  
"This is not your fault, it's him. He brainwashed you. We loved each other and he just came, said some pretty words to you and you believed him!" he got carried away before clearing his throat. "Excuse me."

  
Guinevere nodded, tears threatening to fall.

Was she really hurting so much people?

  
"You left, Gwen." he said, lowly. "You just left and you took all with you. You left to find him, told me you were sorry, that I was someone great, but that you wasn't the one for me ..." he looked away a few seconds and resumed, in a shaking voice. "You told me that you loved him. That you have loved him since the day you had laid eyes on him, that summer. That you couldn't pretend anymore. Could you imagine the shock? The betrayal I felt? I loved you."

  
"I'm so sorry ..."

  
He plunged his eyes in hers.

  
"I still love you."

  
"Lancelot..." she breathed, getting up. “I should probably go, now."

  
He got up and brought her toward him.

  
"Excuse me." he breathed, a few centimeters from her.

  
She forced herself not to look troubled by it all, but she was.

He saw him and smiled, and whispered.

  
"Come to me, tomorrow."

  
"What?"

  
"And the day after that."

  
"Lancelot..."

"I will tell you absolutely everything you want to know. We'll spend some time together."

  
She hesitated.

How to explain that to Arthur?

Why was she feeling as if she was doing something wrong?

  
"Alright." she breathed finally, before she hurried away.

* * *

"I'm listening." asked Arthur, suddenly tensed.

  
"At your father's request, I opened an investigation on the accident that happened a few weeks ago, and that your wife and yourself had been victims’ of." he started. "You had been run over by a car driving fast."

  
"Yes."

  
"And the driver didn't even stop to check if you were okay?"

  
"No, indeed."

  
"And did you hear the car come towards you?"

  
Arthur frowned.

  
"No... I don't think so. Not until it was very close."

  
"Hm-Hm." resumed the investigator. "I will admit to you that the accident seem suspicions to me."

  
"I beg your pardon?"

  
"Let's be realistic, you are Arthur Pendragon.”

  
Arthur felt his stomach turn, if Guinevere had lost the memory because of his name, he didn't know how he would react...

  
"I will keep investigating, asking around the neighborhood and anyone who might have seen something, I'll call you again."

  
"Fine, thank you."

  
Once the conversation over, Arthur stayed put for a while.

This cop couldn't be serious, could he?

Arthur had not imagined for once second another theory that the one of an accident until now, but the cop's voice was ringing in his head.

_Let's be realistic. You're Arthur Pendragon._

* * *

When he stopped the car in front of the school, he saw right away that Gwen seemed confused.

He had wanted to tell her about the case, but decided it wasn't necessary to worried her more than she already was.

She came in and he understood right away that she was distant.

  
"It didn’t go well?" he asked gently, starting the car.

  
"It did. I must go tomorrow."

  
He frowned.

  
"But, its Saturday tomorrow.”

  
"Alice said that she would give me a tour of the whole school, see if it might jog my memories."

  
He nodded, smiling, and she felt horrible.

He didn't deserve her to be lying to him this way.

She was about to tell him the truth when.

  
"Don't forget we go out, tomorrow evening."

  
She frowned and he said.

  
"We have a date."

  
"A date?"

  
Arthur blushed a little.

  
"Yes. Remember, I told you about this?"

  
She finally remembered and exclaimed.

  
"Yes! I had totally forgotten!"

  
Arthur swallowed. It was all he had been able to think about for days.

He sighed and looked at her a few seconds, before focusing on the road.

He didn't know what to do to conquer his wife again.

  
"I'm going to cancel my rendezvous tomorrow." she said gently and he jumped, before looking at her with surprise eyes.

  
"Are you sure? You don't have to, you know."

  
She looked at him and smiled, before taking her phone.

  
**GP:I can’t be there tomorrow. Monday, perhaps.**

  
"There.” she said. "All done."

And he smiled again.

  
"Thank you." he murmured.

  
He keeps on driving, when her phone buzzed.

  
**LD:Why?**

  
**GP:I can't.**

  
**GP:You'll be spending the day with him, aren’t you?**

  
**LD:See you on Monday, Lancelot.**

  
"Is everything alright?"

  
She jumped.

  
"Yes." she said looking by the window. "Everything is fine."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9:**

Saturday went really slowly for Arthur.

It was now 6 p.m. and he forced himself to try and work a little, trying to make time goes faster.

Gwen was out shopping for tonight and he couldn't stop making plans for tonight.

Nothing seemed good enough for her.

He felt miserable.

He felt as if he was losing her.

He wouldn’t give up though.

* * *

Guinevere left the shop, glad of her purchase.

She had hesitated a long time before taking this dress, but this one should do.

While she was shopping, she was surprised she actually searched for a dress that would please Arthur, and this had made her frown.

She didn't know what to think about him.

What did she feel for him?

She didn't know.

How could she love someone else when she didn't even know who she was?

She was lost in thoughts when someone caught her arm gently, she jumped, panicked, before breathed, relieved.

  
"You scared me."

  
"Sorry." he said. "Can I buy you a coffee?"

  
She hesitated.

He was trouble, too.

He was trouble because she remembered him, but somehow she didn't feel what she felt with Arthur.

She didn't feel right.

It didn't make any sense.

Maybe she just needed to be alone for a while.

  
"Come on, Gwen. It's just a coffee. I'm not going to eat you."

  
"Fine." she breathed.

She was so tired of disapointing everyone.

Would that be her life for now?

* * *

Arthur sighed and closed his laptop, before wiping his eyes.

He didn't know what to do and time was poking fun at him.

He took his phone and called his best friend.

  
"Arthur? Is everything's alright?"

  
"Yes, I was calling you to know if you were alright."

  
No answer.

  
"Merlin?"

  
"I didn't talk to her." he said quickly.

  
"Merlin ..."

  
"I know!" resumed the doctor. "But there was this accident and we were overwhelmed and-"

  
"What are you doing, now?"

  
"I'm talking to you."

  
"Very funny. Now, stop talking to me and go and talk to her."

  
"No."

  
"It wasn't a question. Either you're going to see her, or I’ll come and bring you to her myself."

  
He heard clearly his best friend muttering about how much it could be easy for him to murder him and he laughed, before the conversation was over.

* * *

"You've been shopping?"

  
"Yes." she nodded, looking at her coffee.

  
"I'm not your enemy, Gwen." he breathed and she looked up toward him.

  
"I should go."

  
She got up and he got up too, quickly.

  
"Goodbye." she breathed.

  
She started to leave, but he caught her arm and brought her back to him before kissing her.

Gwen let him do it for a few moments, but soon, a blue eyed, golden haired man entered her mind and she broke away, horrified by what she had done.

  
"Gwen-" started Lancelot.

  
"I must go, _now_."

  
She turned around, tears in her eyes, hands shaking, before hearing him scream.

  
"This wasn't a mistake!"

  
None of them noticed the dark haired woman with emerald eyes, a coffee in the end, looking upset.

  
"Miss?" asked the waiter.

  
"Oh. Excuse me." she whispered, taking her change before leaving.

She was leaving but at the last moment, she turned around.

  
"Eh!" she screamed and when he turned around, Lancelot frowned.

  
"Morgana?"

  
"Stay away from her."

  
"Or what?" he smirked.

  
She walked closer until she was so close he swallowed, and muttered, menacingly.

  
"Or I make your life a living hell. Pendragon promise."

  
On these words, she gave him a glare and left.

* * *

In her car, Guinevere was wiping her eyes.

How was she going to admit this to Arthur?

At a red light, she burst out of tears.

It was way too complicated.

She thought she had felt something kissing Lancelot, but then, why did she think of Arthur?

Just because it wasn't fair to him?

No.

She knew she couldn't lie to herself.

But what could she do?

Lancelot or Arthur?

Arthur or Lancelot?

She laid her head on her steering wheel until a car honked at her.

Gwen jumped and wiped her eyes, before starting the car again.

* * *

When Arthur heard the door open, he raised up for his chair and left in order to join Guinevere.

He had missed her.

One day was too long.

A thought crept in his head then, and is heart stopped a few seconds.

_If she leaves you, you'll have to get used to her absence._

He shook his head and walked in a more measured pace toward the door.

She raised red and swollen eyes toward her and he felt his world stop.

  
"Are you alright? What happened?" worried, hurrying to her side.

  
She smiled weakly and resumed.

  
"Yes. Just an allergy, don't worry."

  
As she walked passed him, whispering that she had to get prepared.

And, in less time that it took to say it, Arthur was left alone and frowning; Guinevere didn't have any allergies.

_"You know you can tell me anything." he murmured, stroking her back tenderly._

  
_She looked up._

  
_"Why are you saying that to me now?"_

  
_"I don't know. I need you to know it."_

  
_She stroked his chest tenderly and buried her face in his neck. _

_She loved doing that. _

_He smelt so good, he was so reassuring, so much him. _

  
_"I know, Arthur."_

  
_"And you do know I love you more than anything else, don't you?"_

  
_He felt her smile against his skin._

  
_"I do."_

  
_"Good."_

  
_She raised herself a little then and kissed him tenderly, speaking between kisses_

_._   
_"And...you know... that I love you... too." she ended, kissing him more deeply this time_

  
_He smiled and put his hands on either side of her face, preventing her from walking away._

Arthur would have dream to find a way to open his head and show her all those memories that was choking him, but it was impossible.

* * *

In her room, Guinevere had buried her face in her hands and let her feelings overcome her a little.

She didn't know what to do.

Her stare stopped on her pictures, on the bedside table.

This was a beautiful picture, when Arthur was laughing, his head thrown back, and she was staring at him with a look of utter love and adoration...

The young woman took the picture, and after a minute put it back.

She wiped her eyes and headed toward the bathroom, with her purchases.

She owed it to the girl on that picture to try.

She couldn't give up.

Not now.

* * *

Arthur was waiting in the living-room. He was ready too, but his heart wouldn't stop beating rapidly.

He was sure.

She was going to leave her room, saying that she couldn't (didn't want) to go out with him and that she was leaving, that she was leaving him.

He had prepared a speech, their marriage deserved a chance, he had even found the videos and pictures of their wedding, for her to see just how much they were happy.

When he heard the door opened, he got up, worried, and turned around, what he saw just stop his breath.

Guinevere was there, looking breathtaking, a dress leaving her shoulder bare and showing her narrow waist, high heels the same color of the dress, her curly hair free on her bare shoulders and her lipstick the same red as the dress.

  
"God have mercy..." he breathed and she blushed.

  
"Thank you." she looked at him and blushed a little more. "You are too...look “She was rambling, "You really are ..."

  
"Thank you." he breathed only.

  
He held her his hand without thinking and after a few seconds of hesitation, she took it.

Arthur felt suddenly better, almost complete.

Almost.

  
"Where are we going?" she asked , while he opened the door.

  
"You'll see."

* * *

Arthur stopped the car at the side of a road and got out, then went around opening the door for her.

When he saw the worried stare of Guinevere as she got out slowly, he burst out of laughter.

  
"Calm down, I'm not going to do anything to you."

  
She blushed and looked down, a few seconds.

  
"Where are we?" she asked gently, looking around her.

  
He turned around and his bright blue eyes were staring at her tenderly.

  
"We met in this very place."

  
Her eyes widened in surprise.

  
"Here?"

  
"Yes." he looked in front of him and smiled, with longing, remembering. "You crashed my car."

  
"I did not!" she asked, this time clearly amused.

  
"You did!" laughed Arthur, "I left my car, well decided to give it to anyone who had crushed it..."

  
"And?"

  
"And you arrived..." his eyes softened, "And... I don't know... I just knew."

  
She looked down.

  
"We went on a date, that night."

  
He opened the car door once again and she went in.

Then he went around and got in, then started the car again.

  
"I’ll give you a retrospective of our first date."

  
She smiled suddenly and it warmed his heart.

* * *

  
They arrived in a small bakery.

  
"But, this isn't a restaurant?"

  
"Nope. But they make the best cakes ever!"

  
She smiled and followed him.

They spent the evening tasting cakes, laughing, discussing and for the first time since she woke up, Guinevere felt right, she felt happy.

She looked at Arthur, the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled, the way his white shirt showed everything of his muscled body and she felt something warm in her.

What was happening to her?

This was the first time he was affecting her so much.

And God, she couldn't have enough of it.

She shook her head and noticed he had two chocolates in hands.

  
"Shall we sit?"

  
She nodded and they sit.

He took a box of chocolate and opened it in front of her.

  
"Wow. But how can I know which one I'll love?"

  
"You can't." he smiled. "That's the point."

  
She took one and put it in her mouth.

Arthur laughed and tried to guess her reaction.

  
"So?"

  
She frowned.

  
"It's a no, then?"

  
She took another and her eyes widened in delight.

  
"But this is one yes!"

  
She laughed and put the box in front of him.

  
"Your turn, now."

  
He took one and made a face that made her laugh.

  
"So, I take it you don't like this one?"

  
He wrinkled his nose and she found him too cute to be real.

He licked his lips of the chocolate and her eyes followed the gesture.

God, she realized suddenly.

She wanted to kiss him really, really badly.

And this too, was new.

* * *

They were back in the car.

  
"I’ve had an excellent evening, Arthur." she said, gently.

  
He smiled and resumed.

  
"This isn't over."

  
"It isn't?"

  
He stopped the car and when Gwen noticed, she saw that they were in front of a lake.

Arthur started to remove his shirt and she blushed.

  
"Oh, Arthur, I-"

  
Again, he laughed and she forced herself not to stare too much at his naked chest and muscled and naked, so close to her.

God what was happening to her tonight?

She could jump on him _right now_.

It shouldn't be allowed to look so good.

  
"Let me explain."

  
_Please, put your shirt on._ She thought, trying not to look; but failing miserably.

  
"We come here, once a month, at night, for a swim in the lake."

  
"Oh." she started. She took a deep breath to gain some courage. "Alright….Turn around."

  
He laughed.

  
"Go on! Turn around."

  
“It’s not like I haven’t seen you naked before.” He said making her blush.

He shook his head and turned his head, while she was removing her dress.

Arthur couldn't help but throw looks toward her, more or less discretely.

She couldn't say she didn't like it.

  
"I have a wet suit, if you're too afraid ..."

  
She turned around and saw that his eyes were twinkling.

He was flirting with her.

And she was going to let him do it with great pleasure.

She really liked this Arthur ; flirty and laughing, happy and free.

She could easily fall in love of this Arthur.

She was sure of it.

She was already under his spell with tonight only.

She approached him and whispered, a few inches from him.

  
"Our thing is without wet suit?"

  
He had a hard time focus.

She was way too close.

  
"Yes..." he breathed.

  
She smiled then and suddenly, opened the door and ran toward the lake.

He laughed and followed her, removing his trousers and his shoes.

Guinevere walked toward the lake but walked away when she felt the coldness of the water; Arthur then carried her, despite her screams, and put her in the lake.

They stayed there a few minutes, in the cold water, laughing together.

Finally, they got out, shivering. Arthur took a towel and wrapped it around his wife.

  
"Quick, quick, quick ..." she shivered.

  
He wrapped the towel around her and rubbed her for getting warmth into her.

They were too close.

Much too close ...

Guinevere looked up and couldn't help but look at his eyes.

  
"You'll get a cold, Arthur." she breathed.

  
He smiled and they quickly headed toward the car.

Guinevere was shivering and Arthur too.

But yet they were both so warm inside.

  
"I can't feel my hands!" she breathed and he hesitated, before took her hands in his and breath on it.

He saw that her breath caught and she raised her doe eyes toward him.

  
"Let's go home." he breathed.

* * *

Once in the house, he opened the door to her and she came in.

Guinevere was confused, she wanted ... more.

He closed the door and when she turned to talk to him, she noticed he was really close...

  
"Arthur..." she started.

  
He walked closer again and she could feel his breath on her face.

She looked up and met his blue eyes darkened by lust.

He laid his hand on her chin and brought her toward him, her heart beating faster.

He leant in slowly but she couldn't take it anymore and met him halfway, closing her lips over his.

A sigh of contentment escaped both of them and Guinevere laid her hands on his chest gently. She felt his tongue tried to part her lips and she let him do it, feeling him grunt slightly against her. He laid his hands on her waist and brought her closer, while Gwen's hands slowly rose toward his neck. Arthur lowered his kiss along her jaw, then her neck; she moaned and put a hand on his head, making him understand to keep doing that.

  
"Arthur..." she breathed and he kissed his way toward her lips again, kissing her passionately. “I don't know." she managed to say between kisses. "What your Guinevere was doing the first night but ... I won’t do anything else other than ... kissing."

  
She felt him smile against her lips.

He brought her always much closer and she let out a moan of lust, feeling just nothing how much they were close, now. She answered his kiss, kissing his cheek, his jaw, his neck, nibbling it and she heard him groan.

  
"Guine_vere_..."

  
The tone in his voice made her melt and she kissed him again.

He deepened the kiss and she walked back, due to the impetuosity of his kiss.

  
"Nothing...more." she didn't know if she was trying to convince him or her.

  
They broke away a few seconds, needing to breath and he stuck his forehead to hers, before he croaked.

  
"I miss you."

  
She felt her heart stop and laid again her hands on his chest, stroking it slightly.

  
"Arthur." she started but she couldn't find her words. Instead, she laid another kiss on his lips, chastely, and receded a little.

Brought back to reality.

Arthur had spent the night longing for another Guinevere.

Not for _her_.

And somehow, that broke her heart entirely.

  
She started to turn around and started to leave.

  
"I love you." she heard him say, and she froze.

  
She turned around and once again, didn't know what to do or say.

How was that possible?

How could she make him suffer this way?

Why couldn't she be enough, even without her memories?

She felt dizzy suddenly and smiled weakly, before she left.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10:**

Gwen had not slept at all during that night.

Neither did Arthur.

The first was too busy trying to compare both of the kiss, and what she had felt for one and the other.

On one hand, there was Lancelot : who was reassuring, because she remembered him, his kisses...He didn't expect her to be someone else and seemed ready to take her as she was. 

And on the other hand, there was Arthur, who felt right but always expected her to be someone she was not.

She sighed and laid an arm on her face,

Arthur was the problem.

She didn't know what to think about him.

Yesterday night, all had been so... _perfect_.

She truly pictured herself falling for him, his good looks and his charming personnality, his laugh and the way he looked at her...

Until he told her he loved her.

Because he didn't love _her_.

He loved his Guinevere.

She sighed again.

Because she was drawn to him; she didn't know why.

And she certainly didn't know how to act today.

Arthur had not slept either, because he was too blinded by his own happiness.

The night before, he had felt like he had his wife back.

Yes, he might have taken things too far when he told her he loved her, but he couldn't stop himself.

But it didn't matter.

And even if he had been depressed these last few days, he now knew that nothing would tear them apart.

* * *

Guinevere didn't dare leave her room this day.

She stayed locked in and even if Arthur had knocked and tried to see her, she had pretended to sleep.

Gwen had felt his hand, gently stroking her cheek.

She didn't know what to do.

What should she do?

She was so lost.

They had kissed and now she didn't know if she wanted it to happen again, or not.

If only he could see her for who she was and not who he wanted her to be...

She had not answered Lancelot either.

* * *

In order to spend the day while Guinevere was sleeping (he had not found it in his heart to wake her when she was so deeply asleep, plus Merlin did said she would sleep a lot.) Arthur sent a text to Mithian, Merlin and Morgana, sharing the news with them.

He took his phone and texted;

**AP - I spent a wonderful evening with Guinevere, yesterday night. We'll be fine. Somehow, I know we will.   
**

A few seconds later...

**ML - ARTHUR! That's such great news! I am so happy for you that Friday; it's my turn to pay for the beer!**

He laughed.

That was well Mithian.

A few time later, Merlin:

**ME - I am so happy for you. You two could use a little of luck, for a change. Tell me how Gwen is feeling. :)**

Morgana's text didn't come until later and he frowned; that was not like her.

**MP - I am happy for you, truly, I am. But are you sure she shares your feeling?**

**AP - Of course she does. Why wouldn't she? It was like before.**

**MP - For you, obviously. But what about her?**

**AP - For her too, Morgana. It was PERFECT in every single way.**

**MP - That's all I can wish you...**

He frowned again.

Either she knew something he didn't, or... no.

He was too happy right now to care about all that.

Morgana was certainly too worried about his sake, as usual.

Sister's duties he gathered.

Happy, he resumed what he was doing, whistling.

* * *

Finally, Guinevere heard her stomach gurgled and looked at her watch; 8 pm.

She had spent the whole day in her bed, trying to figure out what to do, but she still didn't know.

She sighed and rubbed her tired eyes before pushing the bedcover away and hesitatingly getting up.

She opened the door, without making noise, and left, before seeing that Arthur's door was half-open.

Then, she couldn't help herself.

She had not seen him all day.

And she was missing him.

He had become so much of her daily routine lately...

She froze when she understood that she was actually missing him.

But it was not a total surprise.

She jsut didn't know what to do with it.

She walked forward again and peeped at him.

He was there, removing his shirt and finding himself bare chest, and she felt warm all over.

God, the effect he had on her!

He walked forward in his room and sighed, throwing his shirt in the laundry basket.

She saw him laid a tired hand on his eyes and then, his stare crossed hers, and she felt her heart stopped.

She blushed and quickly, took some step back. She was about to come in her room, when she heard Arthur call her.

"Guinevere?"

She couldn't turn around.

She felt so ashamed.

He took her arm gently and turned her toward him.

She didn't look up, keeping stubbornly her eyes on his chest.

(Wich was so not a good idea, right now.)

He then laid a tender hand on her chin, and tilted her head toward him.

She plunged in his ocean eyes and melt.

"Arthur-"

But he didn't let her time to answer.

He laid his lips on hers and his hands on her waist, bringing her closer to him.

A slight gasp of surprise escaped her, but she didn't push him away.

Not this time.

Arthur deepened the kiss and she felt them walk, she didn't understood why, until she found herself against a wall, stuck between it and his warm and pliant body. He walked closer to her again and she tied her arms around his neck. He lowered his kiss toward her neck and a slight moan escaped her while she felt him smile against her skin. Her hands couldn't help but wandered through his chest, feeling his muscles jumped at her touch. He kissed his way through her lips again, and his hand stroked her waist, before gently slide toward her thigh and bringing it around his waist, leaning into her. Guinevere moaned again and deepened their kiss. All thoughts other than Arthur had left her mind. She couldn't focus on anything else other than his lips, his hands and... _him_.

She felt him raise her shirt a little, and let him do it, stopping to kiss him only for him to removing the cloth.

Arthur stared at her then, and she blushed in front of his look.

"You're so beautiful..." he breathed, bright blue eyes.

In order to avoid to answer, and mainly in order to avoid his look; she brought him toward her again, and kissed him.

Guinevere took her chance to kiss his neck, his collarbones, then heading toward his lips, once both of them in underwear. A thought crossed her and she stopped kissing him, walking away a little.

"Guinevere?" he whispered, eyes dark with lust, breathless.

She bit her lips, hesitating.

"Not in the corridors." she finally said, before taking his hand and bringing him toward her room. He smiled and followed her, while she closed the door behind them.

* * *

The next day Guinevere became aware of a warm body against hers.

She opened her eyes slowly and found Arthur, asleep.

He had an arm around her waist, in a protective way, and she was cuddled against him.

Guinevere tried to recede a little without waking him and even if he stirred slightly, he did not wake up.

She took her chance to look at him then.

Asleep, with this youthful yet handsome face and his golden hair falling all over his eyes, he was breathless.

She looked down.

This night had confused her more than helped her, but she now knew that even if she tried, she couldn't walk away from Arthur.

Something always brought her back to him.

She didn't know how she knew that.

She just _knew_.

And today, she would tell him that.

She would also tell him to give _her _a real chance to be herself and to be together.

And she would tell Lancelot that even if she remembered him, she couldn't leave Arthur.

She then got up, trying not to make any noise, dressed and left in order to prepare breakfast.

She was eating quietly when someone rang.

Frightened it would wake up Arthur (he really needed to sleep), she got up hurriedly and ran toward the door, opening it to find herself facing Morgana.

"Good morning." breathed this one. "I just wanted to come and say goodbye to Arthur, I'm leaving tonight."

"Oh." breathed Guinevere before jumped and walked away from the door. "Please excuse me, come in. Arthur is asleep for now, but I can go and fetch him."

She was leaving but Morgana stopped her.

"No. Please, don't wake him. I'll wait."

"Would you like some breakfast?"

"No thanks, I already ate."

Gwen frowned but smiled, before resuming her meal.

Morgana settled in front of her and studied her for a few seconds.

"What's going on?"

She saw Morgana was hesitating.

"I have something I must ask you."

"I'm listening." smiled gently Gwen.

"You don't want to hurt my brother, do you?"

Gwen froze.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I mean... I don't know what happened between the two of you, but he really thinks that..." she hesitated again. "He really thinks that you're back together."

Guinevere didn't answer to that.

"I _need _to know that." she took a big breath. "I need to know that if making your life with him is not what you want, if you know that... if you know that you want that with _somebody else_, you won't make Arthur believe that something is still possible between the two of you. Because I know he won't be able to heal from that."

Gwen felt tears pricked at her eyes. Why was she telling her that?

"Do you promise me?" resumed gently the young woman.

"Morgana-" started Gwen, but she was cut off.

"Yes or no, Gwen."

"I..."

"Yes or no."

She looked down.

"This isn't as easy as you seem to think." she whispered, getting up. "But I'll do my best. The last thing I want is for him to be hurt. "

She took her coat, before putting her shoes, took her bag and left.

* * *

When Arthur woke up, he extended his arm, trying to touch Guinevere, needing to _feel _her by his side.

When he understood that her side of the bed was empty, he opened an eye and sighed, before rubbing his eyes and got up.

He put his trousers from yesterday and left at the search of his wife.

For the first time since the accident, he felt right.

He felt complete.

They had had a _magical _night.

He entered the kitchen and was surprised to find his sister, and not the love of his life.

"Morgana?" he asked and she turned around, giving him a slight smile.

"Hey you."

"Where's Guinevere?"

"Out."

"Where?"

"I don't know."

He frowned then remembered that it was Monday and that she probably was with Alice.

He smiled and shook his head, however wishing she had left a note, telling him she left.

"Do you know where she is?"

"At school." resumed Arthur, pouring himself some coffee. "She spends her days with Alice, trying to jog her memories."

He saw his sister paled.

"Are you ok?"

"Yes, yes." she answered hurriedly.

"Why were you here, anyway?"

"Just to see if you were fine."

Morgana was no stupid woman.

She knew what was going to happen.

She knew her brother would end up with a broken heart, broken _soul _if he ever was to lose Gwen, and she would not leave him face that alone, in the case that happened.

He always had been there for her, even when she hurt his best friend...

She would be there for him, if needed.

But GO dhe hoped he wouldn't need it.

* * *

Guinevere reached the cafe and glimpsed Lancelot.

Quickly, she settled in front of him.

"Good morning, Gwen."

"Hello." she answered, nervously.

"You're nervous."

"I am."

"Why?"

"Because we cannot see each other any longer, Lancelot."

"I beg your pardon?"

She hated making him sad, but she had made a decision.

She wanted to try and make it work with Arthur.

"I'm sorry."

"No."

He took her hand.

She let him do it.

Her treacherous body knowing his embrace.

"Do you remember how happy we were then?"

"Lancelot..."

"Do you remember?"

"Yes." she whispered in a barely audible voice.

Because she did.

She really did.

But Arthur...

"Sorry? I didn't hear that."

"Yes."

"Then we could be so again. You're meant to be with me, Gwen. You were mine first." and then he added, "Do you believe in destiny? Because maybe fate wanted us to be reunited and that's the reason why you remember our love but not Arthur's."

She looked up toward him.

Lost all over again.

Her heart tore in two.

When she was with Arthur, it felt right, she didn't think about Lancelot.

But when she was with Lancelot, she felt... _normal_.

Normal because she remembered him, she didn't felt as if she has lost her memory.

She opened her mouth, then closed it.

* * *

Morgana noticed that Arthur was thoughtful, and she worried about it.

"Are you feeling well?"

"Can I tell you something I never said to anyone?"

"Of course, you can."

He looked up toward her.

"We didn't exactly had time to try, but... that night, the night of the accident, Guinevere and I..." he looked down a few seconds, a small smile lighting up his face. "We had made the decision to have a child together."

Morgana felt her heart stopped.

Her brother resumed.

"I feared I was to give up this dream, _our _dream. A little girl with her hair and eyes, or a little boy with her kindness and pure heart..." he seemed to dream a little then. "But today, I know. I _know _all will work out in the end."

He smiled toward her a bright smiled, but she couldn't give him back.

So instead, she took him in her arms.

* * *

"Gwen..."

"Lancelot, I..."

"Is it because you slept with him?"

She looked at him surprise. "How…"

"You're glowing."

She blushed and looked down.

"That doesn't matter to me."

"Stop. You remember _me_, Gwen. There is a reason to that. You don't belong with _him_."

She put her head into her hands.

"Please, I _beg _you. Stop that."

Her head was hurting her so badly.

This was too much.

Arthur or Lancelot?

* * *

Arthur appeared suddenly, dressed, his coat on him.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to surprise to Guinevere, take her out for lunch."

She felt her heart stopped.

"You can't do that." she hurried to add.

He raised an eyebrow.

"And why's that?"

"Because... Because you'll disturb her."

"I don't think so."

He walked forward but she got up and ran, blocking him the door.

"Morgana..." he started. "What's gotten into you?"

"I... I want more time with you!"

"We'll see each other this afternoon, I promise."

He tried to pass, but she hold on.

"Morgana!"

She couldn't let him do that.

She knew where Gwen was and with _who_.

She would not let her brother get his heart broken.

"Let me pass for God's sake!"

They fought a few seconds and he finally managed to open the door.

He threw her a puzzled look before heading away and she couldn't help the tears of despair that rolled down her cheeks, seeing his car drive away.

A few minutes later, she saw Merlin climbed the stairs toward the entrance.

He froze, seeing her, but for a few seconds, she forgot all that happened between them.

"Merlin!" she screamed, running after him.

She had expected that cold look, but it was painful nonetheless.

He turned around, but she screamed.

"I need your help!"

Then, he stopped in track, as if he had been frozen.

He turned around again, his eyes throwing fire.

"How _dare _you?"

She looked down a few seconds, then resumed.

She was doing that for her brother.

"No matter how much you hate me, you and I have still something in common."

He raised an eyebrow and she said, confident.

"_Arthur._"

He frowned this time and seemed to be the prey of an interior dilemma between his hatred and his worry.

Finally, the cold of his stare melt and it was exchange by worry.

"What's going on?"

* * *

Arthur climbed the stairs of the school, confident, a smile on his lips, and a bunch of flowers he had stopped to buy in his hand.

He knocked at Alice's office and was surprised to see her alone; Guinevere must be in her class.

Seeing him, Alice gave him a warm smile and get up, taking him in her arms.

"Arthur, my dear one! What brings you here?"

He smiled.

"I come to steal Guinevere for lunch."

The old lady frowned.

"Your Guinevere?"

"Of course. Who else? Where is she? In her class?"

He started to leave, but Alice's voice stopped him.

"What are you talking about, Arthur?"

"I'm talking about Guinevere. She told me she came here a few times; try to see if it might jog her memory. I thank you for all that you're doing for us by the way, she told me this was your idea and I could never-"

"Arthur." cut her off seriously Alice. "Gwen never came here."

He then felt his heart stopped in his chest.

* * *

"We could start all over again."

"Lance..."

"You know everything about me, I know everything about you! I won't expect much of you, like _he _does..."

She looked down.

She didn't know what to do.

Maybe he was right after all.

She really liked Arthur but he was expecting too much of her.

Maybe this wouldn't work at the end because he remembered and she did not.

Maybe this was the good decision.

* * *

"Are you sure?" asked for the umpteenth time Merlin, while he was driving toward the coffee.

"Very sure." answered Morgana, looking at her watch. "Hurry up!"

He gave her a dark look and resumed driving.

"I'm not doing this for you." he said, coldly.

"I know."

"I'm doing it for Arthur."

"As am I."

"And for him, I hope you're wrong..." he ended, his voice worried.

"I hope so too. More than anything. But I know what I saw, Merlin. And I can see those things..."

* * *

He stopped the car by the side of the coffee and left, followed by Morgana. They searched for Arthur and suddenly, he heard Morgana murmured

"Oh no..."

He turned around and saw Arthur, in front of the coffee, a bunch of flowers in his hand, staring through the glass.

The two young people walked closer and Merlin peeped inside, Guinevere was there, with Lancelot, her hand in his, staring at him a small smile on her face.

He tried to give a look at Arthur; he was pale, very pale, and his blue eyes looked haunted, while he was watching his wife.

"She never went to the school." he whispered in a voice devoid of any feelings.

"Arthur-" started Morgana.

"She was coming to find him." he sniffled and looked at his bunch a few seconds, he felt so _pathetic_.

"Arthur." started Merlin, but he realized that for the first time in his life, he could not find the right words to soothe the hurt of his best friend.

Arthur straightened then and turned around, leaving; before finally changing his mind and going into the coffee shop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be careful, very light smut in this one :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11:**

Arthur walked into the coffee shop, his heart shattered.

He walked closer to their table.

Seeing him coming, Guinevere's eyes widened and her skin paled.

She removed her hand from Lancelot's right away and got up.

"Arthur..."

He threw the bunch of flowers in front of her.

"Those are for you. Even if you're damm liar."

He saw her eyes filled with tears, but he couldn't help himself.

"Arthur, I-"

He didn't want to hear it.

Ironically Lancelot had decided to interrupt, and stood up.

"Leave her alone, Pendragon."

Arthur walked closer to him.

"Don't you dare tell me what to do." he said angrily through his teeth.

The man smiled and Arthur resumed.

"You are loving this, you bastard..."

Lancelot smiled again.

"See things from my perspective; she was with me; but leaves me for you and now the roles are exchanged, I find that to be quite interesting."

Arthur couldn't contain his anger any longer and he punched Lancelot while everyone was letting out a scream of horror.

He saw _his _Guinevere threw herself at Lancelot to check if he was ok and his heart broke a little more.

She did not give him even a look.

He had to face the truth.

She didn't care.

He felt his vision blurred and walked away, before leaving the coffee shop for good.

"Arthur-" started Morgana but he didn't listen to her and left.

A few seconds later, he was caught back by Guinevere.

He turned around but looked down.

He wasn't ready to face her.

"Arthur..."

"I'm sorry I hit him."

He wasn't.

But if it was making her sad, he had to apologize.

"No, that's nothing; people always need a good story to tell..."

He looked up toward her and saw that her eyes were full of tears.

But he couldn't run from the truth any longer.

His heart fall at the bottom of his chest when he realized what was about to happen...

But there was no stopping it anymore.

"Do you want to be with him, then?"

It was the harder few words of his life.

"No! I..."

"I saw the way you were looking at him, Guinevere." she looked down, blushing. And that was all the admission he needed, broke his heart even further. "And I know that look because it was the way you used to look at _me_..."

She opened her mouth, then closed it, a tear rolling down her cheek.

He wanted to comfort her but resisted, he needed to know something, first.

(And as for a few seconds from now, she wasn't his to comfort anymore.)

"And... And yesterday?"

He was trying to hold back the sob that were choking him.

She looked up toward him once again and shrugged.

He knew she wasn't doing that in order to hurt him; that she was lost, but the simple gesture just killed him.

He now knew what he had to do; he just didn't know _how _to do it.

"Arthur, I... Yesterday was... _fantastic_. But I can't make you happy. You still see me as _your _Guinevere, but I'm not this woman anymore. I'm not your _wife _anymore. Every time I say or do something, you're comparing it to the past. That's too painful, for both of us."

He was fighting against tears that wanted to fall.

It wall all his fault, then.

He had wanted so badly for his Guinevere to be back, that he had made her feel like she didn't belong with the person she was supposed to feel everything but that with.

"So..." he cleared his throat and tried to straighten up. "This is moment when I'm supposed to leave the woman that I love above everything else?"

He saw a tear roll down her cheek.

"I never wanted to hurt you..." she whispered and his heart just stopped.

"I know."

He started to turn around; he wanted to go, away, fast, before he crumbled in front of her.

"Arthur?" she called him in a trembling voice and he stopped, but didn't turn around. "I hope one day, I'll be able to love someone as much as you love me."

Could someone die from a broken heart?

Because it was starting more and more to feel like a possibility for him.

"You did it once, Guinevere. You'll do it again."

He felt as if he was dying.

If a car could come now and just erase all of his memories…

He hurried to find his car and climbed in.

All his dreams of a future with her?

_Gone_.

The family he had dreamt of?

_Gone_.

All chances for happiness?

_Exploded. _

Maybe he had missed the signs...

Arthur focused and his mind led him to the previous night...

The night before, when they had been together the way a husband and a wife should, she had not looked at him, not once.

Maybe... Maybe was she imagining someone _else _instead of him?

He felt suddenly sick.

Physically sick.

He left out his car and threw up in a trash bin that was on the sidewalk.

He threw up until his knees were so weak they could not even bear him much longer.

He managed to come back in his car, and took his phone.

"Uther Pendragon?"

"Father?"

"Arthur? Are you ok? Your voice sounds strange."

"Is the job in Los Angeles still open?"

"Yes, why?"

"I'm in."

* * *

Merlin and Morgana had been searching for Arthur for at least ten minutes when they finally spotted his car.

They walked closer and saw Arthur, pale as a ghost, on the phone.

When he saw them, he hung up and opened the door.

"Arthur..." started Morgana.

"Why did you do that?" asked Merlin.

Arthur looked down and leaned on his car.

"Merlin, when Guinevere and I met, it took her two nights to start to fall in love with me. One night, we were just laughing and I don't know, I made that silly joke about one's shop's name and when I realized she was quiet, I looked up and she was there, looking me with _that _look... She just tied her arms around my neck and kissed me. After that, she had whispered low in my ear. _"I think I'm already falling in love with you." _Two nights, Merlin."

A tear rolled down Arthur's cheek, soon followed by many others.

He held his head in his hands, not knowing how to stop his world from crumbling down.

He looked up toward his sister and his best friend.

"Guinevere's right. I have pressured her too much. She would never have been happy with me."

"Arthur, Gwen will never be happy _without _you."

"Of course she will!" answered Arthur and his voice was so convinced that it broke both of their heart. "She will because she is another person, now. My Guinevere is gone, but this Guinevere is just as amazing as her, and I've pushed her away. I've made her miserable. She deserves better." His voice broke. "I have to get away for a while; I can't stay here and watch her move on without me..."

"What do you mean?"

"I agreed to my father's offer, I'm leaving for Los Angeles."

"WHAT?" screamed Merlin. "But when?"

"Today. I can't stay here. I can't."

He got up and squeezed his sister in his arms.

"I'll miss you." he said and she sobbed and squeezed him.

He turned toward his best friend and took him too in his arm.

"I'll miss you too, _Mer_lin."

Merlin didn't understand a thing of what was going on and he felt despair.

He couldn't lose his best friend.

Not like that.

What was happening with the world!

"Take care of yourself." Morgana whispered.

"Promise." breathed Arthur before he climbed in his car and left, leaving Morgana and Merlin on the sidewalk, completely at a loss.

"Where are you going?" she asked while Merlin was heading toward his car.

"Where I want."

"You're going to let him do that?"

"What do you want me to do, Morgana?" he seemed annoyed by now.

"Stop him from doing this! You're his best friend, for God's sake!"

He turned around and she saw this coldness in his eyes again.

"Since when do you care about others?"

She took the blow in the heart and felt tears pricked at her eyes.

He forced himself to seem indifferent of all that and think of something else.

Arthur.

He didn't know what to do.

He breathed deeply to regain his composure.

He was a doctor after all,

Working under pressure was all that he did.

"Get in." He said walking away, not looking at her.

"What?"

"If you don't want me to leave you here, get the hell in this car !" She frowned at his tone, but she still needed a ride so upset she followed him into the car.

* * *

Guinevere tried to wipe the tears that were rolling down her cheeks.

How things could have been so different from what she had planned?

Nothing made sense.

But what she was doing, she did it for Arthur.

She couldn't make him happy.

She was sure of that now.

And she had no right to be selfish anymore, she had been forced to let him go, it was the best thing to do.

Even if she didn't want to.

He was in love with another version of her.

Not with her.

Staying in a relationship where he would long for another and she would long for him to see _her_ would bring nothing good.

She didn't want that for him.

Guinevere then resumed her walk, until her car, finding Lancelot leaning on it.

She didn't want to see him.

She saw how he enjoyed Arthur's pain and it made her realize that maybe he was taking advantage of her vulnerable state.

It was his fault.

All was his fault.

She shook her head, no, she had to be fair.

It was _her _fault as well for leading him on.

She was hurting so much people.

"Gwen..."

"Leave me alone Lancelot." she murmured.

"We can be happy..."

"No." she cut him firmly.

She may not know what she wanted but she now knew what she didn't want.

"I think I need time, alone. In order to find myself."

A sad smile lighted up his face.

"Are you sure you don't remember breaking up with me?"

She frowned.

"Yes. Why?"

"Because that's exactly what you said to me. Word for word."

She slightly laughed.

"I am sorry."

He sighed and receded from her car.

"I know."

She gave him a little smile and climbed in her car.

"Goodbye, Lancelot."

* * *

Arthur arrived home and tears were blurring his sight.

He came in and stormed in _his _room, before taking a bag and starting to fill it with all that he found, without really noticing what he was putting in it.

His life just lost all meaning.

* * *

Guinevere frowned, seeing a lot of cars in front of her, stopped.

A cop walked closer to her and she opened a window.

"What's going on officer?"

"A breakdown, miss. All would be back to normal in a few minutes."

She politely smiled and he left.

* * *

Arthur closed his bag and took two minutes in order to sit on the bed.

How things could have become so bad in such a short time?

Suddenly, his phone rang and seeing the inspector's name, he frowned.

"Arthur Pendragon?"

"We found the driver." was the only thing the cop said and Arthur felt his heart stopped.

He hesitated to ask, he was afraid of the answer.

Afraid all of this was his fault.

"It was an accident, Mister Pendragon." resumed the inspector in a nicer voice and Arthur closed his eyes, tight. "The man who was driving just learnt that his pregnant wife had had a car crash and he didn't even notice that he had almost crushed you. We have found him and he is willing to meet you, apologize and pay you for all the damages."

"I don't want his money." breathed Arthur before resume in a weak voice. "I want my wife back."

"If you wish so, you could pursuit him legally, I know a good lawyer and seeing the circumstances of the case, you'd win."

Arthur hesitated.

Win what?

His father would have done it.

But he wasn't his father, that much for sure, and this wouldn't bring his wife back.

"No." was his only answer.

'Are you sure Mr. Pendragon?"

"Yes."

"Fine."

"How are they?" asked finally Arthur.

"Who?"

"His wife and child."

He thought he could hear the smile in the policeman voice when this one answered.

"Fine, mister Pendragon, they're both fine."

Without him knowing why, Arthur felt a little reassured.

Guinevere had not lost her memory for nothing.

Their happy ending was gone, but at least another survived.

"Alright."

"You can call me back, if you have any concerns or questions."

"Thanks." answered Arthur. "And thanks for investigating this case."

"You're welcome."

* * *

Gwen was starting to get impatient, she wanted to come home.

But at the same time, she was afraid of meeting Arthur.

What would happen, now?

* * *

Arthur laid suitcase in the living-room and took a look around him.

He had to say goodbye to all that he knew and all that he had ever loved.

This life, which had make him the happiest man in the world.

This house who symbolized a life full of promises.

His wife, whom he loved more than life itself...

He felt again his heart break painfully in his chest and felt the urge to do something.

He couldn't just leave without telling her, after everything she's been through; with her memory lost, she at least deserved that, and this way he could tell her what was on his heart.

He left and took a paper, a pen and started to write.

A few minutes later, he put the letter in the envelope and laid it on the table, visible; before taking his luggage.

He looked around him one last time and left, a tear rolling down his cheek.

* * *

Guinevere parked her car but stayed inside for a few seconds, she didn't know what to do.

Maybe she should take a little flat in town, for her to take some distance, for him to rebuild his life.

She realized that it was breaking her heart to imagine them separated, and she finally left her car, with a sore heart.

She came in the house and suddenly, abad feeling, she felt something was different, as if there is something wrong.

She walked forward.

"Arthur?" she called, hesitant.

No answer.

Frowning, she walked forward and searched the house calling his name.

_Nothing_.

She went to his room, knocked but got no answer.

She then opened the door and saw the mess inside.

Gwen felt suddenly ill and turned away, returning to the living-room, almost running.

Still no signs of Arthur.

She put her purse on the table and caught glimpse of a little envelope, but what made her heart stopped was that on that envelop, there was her name, _Guinevere._

* * *

As if things couldn't get worse he was stuck in traffic with his Ex Morgana.

Awkward silence accompanied them and neither could stop thinking about Arthur and Gwen.

Suddenly, his phone rang and he frowned, seeing _who _was calling him.

* * *

Guinevere opened the letter and right after opening it, she felt tired all over and had to sit on a chair.

The letter escaped her hands and tears were blurring her stare, a dizzying headache was settling and she felt out of breath.

Why couldn't she breath?

She tried to get up, but her legs wouldn't obey her...

Shaking, feverish and dizzy, she took her phone.

"Mer... Merlin?"

_"Nothing in the world matters to me more than you."_

_..._

_"I love _you_. No one else. No matter how hard my father or the all world may be against it! You're the love of my life, I know it."_

"Gwen? What's going on?"

_"I love you..."_

_..._

_"Arthur!"_

_..._

_"No... Don't leave me."_

_..._

_"You're my home, Arthur."_

_..._

_"I... I couldn't marry him... I lo... I love you..."_

"I... I..." she felt really, really bad and her vision was going all blurry, she was seeing flashes of a different life, she was not sure where they came from, she didn't understand a thing. "I... I am not feeling well at all..."

"Gwen?"

_"Forever?"_

_"Forever my love."_

_..._

_"I vow to love you until the end of time."_

_..._

_"I do."_

_..._

_"I now pronounce you husband and wife."_

"I..."

She was finally able to stand only to feel herself fall to the ground.

"Gwen! Gwen! Gwen are you hearing me? GWEN!"

She couldn't find the strength to answer and she then felt a eyes close.

Beside her, a simple letter.

_Guinevere,_

_ When you find this letter, I'll be away. I said yes to an offer my father made to me, earlier in the year. I just wanted you to know that I understand all that you said to me, and that I am so sorry I put you in such a situation. You're right, I have pressured you too hard to be someone you're not. I wanted you to know that the person you are right now is amazing, you're still perfect to me. And you're worth it. That never changed, even if it I didn't make it look that way. All I ever wanted was your happiness, and that is still what I want for you. I hope you'll find it, Guinevere, and I do sincerely hope that you'll find love too... I leave to ease your pain and I leave too because I couldn't bear it, seeing you move on from us. I couldn't bare it. I can't bare it. To me, you'll allways be my wife.  
_

_The reason why I wrote this letter is because I wanted you to know that if one day you feel alone, you feel depressed, that nothing goes well in your life; I want you to know that on this Earth, you will always have this man, whom will love you until his heart stops, and even after that. You'll never be alone, Guinevere._

_Maybe one day our paths will cross again. I am so sorry, for everything._

_I love you, now and forever.  
_

_Arthur._


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12:**

"Gwen! Gwen! Gwen are you hearing me? GWEN!"

Merlin was panicked; he hung up, right away, Morgana paled.

"What's happening with Gwen?"

"Something's wrong, I don't know what exactly."

"How we going to get out of this traffic?"

Merlin looked around to find a way out, he knew he could get in trouble, but right this moment; he didn't care.

He got out of his lane and started driving on the shoulder lane.

* * *

Arthur arrived at the airport, heartbroken.

He walked closer to the ticket counter.

"Hello. Arthur Pendragon. P-E-N-D-R-A-G-O-N, I have a ticket booked."

The woman searched for a few seconds.

"Indeed, Mr. Pendragon. Your flight is at eleven toward Los Angeles?"

"That's it." breathed Arthur.

"Can I see your passport please?"

"Sure." He took his passport from his back pocket and gave it to her.

After verifying his information she handed him his passport with his ticket inside.

"Are you leaving on holidays?"

"Not really."

"And won't you miss our beautiful England?"

He took the blow in the heart and tried to smile, but it looked a lot more like a wince.

* * *

He stopped the car in front of Arthur & Gwen's house and didn't even bother to park correctly.

He got out of the car, soon followed by Morgana and ran toward the door; it was locked so he took the spare key Arthur had given him when they moved in.

"Gwen?" he screamed and suddenly he froze, seeing her unconscious on the ground. "Oh God." he ran at her side and checked her pulse, letting out a breath of relief before turned toward Morgana. "Call 999."

The young woman was as paled as a ghost.

"Morgana! Call emergency services!" shouted Merlin, removing his jacket in order to cover Gwen. "_NOW!_"

Hearing him speak louder made Morgana reacted, and she took her phone in a trembling hand, dialed the phone number and waited.

While he was checking if Gwen wasn't hurt elsewhere, Merlin heard the conversation.

"Please, we need help. I beg you ... My friend is unconscious ... I ... I don't know..."

Seeing she was shocked, Merlin got up and took Morgana's phone.

"Here I'm Dr. Merlin Emrys; I need an ambulance at 25 Camelot Street as soon as possible. Woman of 22, unconscious on the ground. She had suffered from a grave concussion not so long ago; he pulse is steady, but weak."

He hung up and resumed his sit by Gwen's side, squeezing her hand.

"Fight Gwen, fight on. If you don't do it for Morgana, or for me, or even for yourself; then do it for _Arthur. _"

* * *

_Passengers taking flight 440 to Los Angeles are invited to start boarding._

Arthur looked at his ticket, tears blurring his vision.

Could he _really _do that?

He looked up and caught glimpse of a child, cuddled against his mother, his thumb in his mouth. A man arrived and laid a protective stare on his family before he put an arm around the woman and she leant into him.

Arthur felt his heart broke a little more.

It was all that he would never have.

A _family. _

_"Arthur." smiled the young woman and her husband raised a tender stare toward her. _

_He took her hand and laid a kiss on it. _

_"Yes, my love?"_

_"There is something I wanted to talk about."_

_He frowned slightly, but relaxed seeing the serene smile lighting up his wife's face._

_"Enjoy your dinner." interrupted the waiter, laying plates in front of them._

_"Guinevere?" he resumed, once the man gone._

_She looked down and blushed, what was going on with her?_

_"Arthur, I ... I was asking myself ..."_

_She hesitated._

_"You know you can tell anything."_

_Gwen looked up and plunged in those ocean eyes of his. _

_A smile full of adoration lighted her face and she said, gently, she grabbed his hands on the table and leaned toward him so he could be the only one to hear about it._

_"I want a child, Arthur. I want _your _child."_

_A silence settled then for a few seconds. _

_A few seconds that seemed an eternity for Gwen. _

_Finally, he got up and kneeled in front of her, before kissing her, tenderly, passionately. _

_She laughed when they separated and wiped a tear that was rolling down his cheek, letting her own roll down._

_"Is that a yes, then?" she asked, emotions making her voice tremble._

_He leant into the hand that was on his cheek and smiled._

_"Of course it is. I want that more than anything else in this world, a family, with _you_."_

_She laughed with happiness and he kissed her again, before he returned to his chair. _

_However, he took her hand, and she felt the tight grip of it. _

The family got up and Arthur wiped a tear that was rolling down his cheek.

It was the night of the accident.

Why had he been allowed to enjoy such a happiness if to have to see it torn from him so soon after?

That wasn't fair.

_Passengers taking flight 440 to Los Angeles are invited to start boarding._

Arthur looked at his ticket again, then got up.

There was nothing here for him anymore.

Guinevere was gone.

She wouldn't come back to him.

He had lost.

He had lost everything that had ever mattered to him.

_Everything._

* * *

When Guinevere woke up, she didn't understand where she was.

Right away, she searched by her side but saw no one, apart from Morgana and Merlin, arguing over something.

Morgana _and _Merlin?

In the _same _room?

Merlin then saw that she was awaken and hurried to her side; she saw he had his doctor's coat on.

"How are you feeling?"

"I have a headache."

"That's normal, you fainted."

Guinevere looked around the room.

"What are you looking for?" asked Merlin, frowning.

"Arthur." answered the young woman, simply. "I'm looking for my husband."

* * *

Arthur looked around one last time and sighed, deeply.

He didn't know how or even _if _he would be happy again, but he knew for sure that the happiness he had felt with _her _by his side was gone forever, without any chance to come back...

* * *

She saw Morgana paled right away, and Merlin frowned.

Worried suddenly, the heart beating fast, tears threatening to fall, Gwen get up.

"Where is he? Where is my husband?"

None of the two adults could find an answer to her questions; they didn't understand what was going on...

Merlin then left his surprise; his reflexes doctor got the upper hand.

He came and went again his penlight, to shine before her eyes.

"Gwen, what year are we?"

"2019. Why? Where is Arthur?"

"How long have you being married?"

"It will be three months the 21, you know this." she tried to leave the bed. "Merlin, you are becoming ridiculous. I order to know where my Arthur is."

He didn't answer. He didn't dare to hope. 

"What's the last thing you remember?"

She frowned.

"We were walking pass this restaurant in the city and ... this car ..." she laid a hand on her forehead. "Arthur pushed me out of the way, he threw himself on me in order to protect me and ... suddenly she paled and got up, "No. Tell me he is not..." she couldn't end her sentence. She tried to find an answer but none of her friends was answering her, they seemed as lost as her. "_No._" she screamed, getting up. "NO. My husband. I want my husband now." she started to head toward the door, "Arthur?" she called, but Merlin stopped her. "ARTHUR!"

"Gwen, calm down..." tried to calm her Merlin, but Gwen seemed totally hysterical. She was debating rather violently.

"No. Let go of me. He can't be ... LET GO OF ME! ARTHUR! ARTHUR!"

And suddenly, Morgana seemed to know what to do and she walked closer to her, taking her hand and whispering the words that calm down her ravenous fear.

"Arthur is alive."

Right away, Gwen calmed down and stopped debating.

Merlin let her go gently and resumed his place in front of her.

"Really?" asked weakly Gwen, wiping her tears. "You're not lying to me, are you?"

"No." hurried to say Morgana. "I promise."

"Why isn't he by my side then? Where is he?"

Merlin seemed suddenly being frozen.

"About to make the worst mistake of his whole life." he breathed in a horrified voice.

"What?"

Suddenly Merlin removed his coat and put it over Gwen's shoulder, before taking her hand.

"We have to hurry, we don't have much time."

Morgana seemed to understand.

"The airport. His plane leaves at eleven. Flight 440."

"How do you know that?"

"He texted it to me after I asked."

Gwen removed her hand.

"What are you talking about?"

"We don't have time, Guinevere; you must trust us. All of your happiness, Arthur's and yours relies on it."

She seemed to hesitate, and then nodded.

They opened the door and almost ran into Freya, who looked at them, surprised.

Her stare fell on Merlin, then Morgana, and she seemed to understand something, as an -Oh- escaped her lips.

Merlin felt himself blush, but he pulled himself together, it was a problem he would settle later.

"We'll need you too, Freya."

"Me?"

"Yes. Follow us."

And they left, running.

After hesitating one second, she followed them, if only for him not to be to too long with that emerald-eyed dark-haired beauty.

* * *

Arthur searched his seat on the plane and settled.

It was as if physically he was there, but his mind refused to cooperate.

He did not want to assimilate recent events.

That his life just had stopped.

For whom would he return home to? What will he do with his free-time now? At Christmas? Who will love him like _she _did? Nobody.

He was alone.

Arthur Pendragon was in a crowded plane, but he had never felt more alone that now.

A girl from around ten sat by his side and gave him a smile.

He smiled in return, but it was as if it was asking him a great effort.

He loved children.

He thought that he would have been a good father, with _her _by his side.

Now, he would never know that...

"My name's Mary." started the girl.

"Arthur." he smiled.

"Why are you going to Los Angeles, Arthur? I'm going on holidays. Papa is in the board of director of this airline, so I can go fly whenever I want! Can't I, daddy? My sister didn't come with because she wanted to see her boyfriend. Ew." she made a face. "But that's not grave because-"

"Mary, don't disturb that young man." cut her off a female voice, behind them.

"But, _mum!_ I'm _not _disturbing him!"

"Please, excuse her." resumed the man. "She is a talkative person."

Arthur turned around two seconds and gave a smile toward the worried parents.

"Don't worry. I am not disturbed at all."

The girl sent a conqueror look at his parents and it made him smile. Maybe the trip would not that bad after all...

* * *

In the car, a heavy silence had settled.

"You mean to tell me that I woke up and forgot everything?"

"Actually, your memories stopped at the summer you turned 19 ..."

"The summer I met Arthur..." breathed Gwen, tears blurring her vision. " How... How was he?"

"Devastated." answered Morgana and Merlin glared at her. "What? I'm just being honest."

"Oh." Gwen looked down.

She had hurt the man she loved more than anything in the world, deeply.

Many times, for what they had said.

"Arthur knew it wasn't your fault." resumed gently Freya, laying her hand on hers. "He did not blamed you."

Gwen gave her a weak smile and Merlin laid a tender stare on his nurse.

"But ... I pushed him away, didn't I?"

"You did it because you didn't know him. You didn't want him to be unhappy, and Arthur did it in order for _you _to not be unhappy." said Merlin.

Gwen then seemed panicked.

"How will we get into the plane? It's 10:45 , passengers must be settled by now on!"

"We'll find a way." resumed Merlin, in a voice he hoped was confident enough.

* * *

"What about you, have you got a girlfriend?" asked Mary.

"Mary ..." started her mother.

"What?!" resumed the girl in a rather annoyed voice. "I didn't do anything!"

But the woman had seen the sad look in the eyes of this young man who was talking with her little girl for some time, saw the way his eyes landed for a few seconds on the ring in his left hand.

"Stop, now." resumed the woman.

The girl shrugged.

"Because I have three."

"Three?" asked Arthur and he forced his voice not to be so weak.

"Yes. This way, I can interchange them when I get bored."

Then, he couldn't help himself, he laughed, not long, not much, but he laughed.

* * *

They arrived at the airport, a funny show, a doctor, a nurse, a young woman and another in a hospital gown with a doctor's coat above it.

"Here!" screamed Morgana, showing a board. "Plane 440."

Guinevere had never run so fast in her life.

She must go and find her husband.

Tell him that she loved him.

Squeeze him against her.

If Arthur left, she lost everything.

She had no one else in the world but him.

They arrived in front of the door, but a man prevented them from going further.

"Please sir." she tried, breathless. "My husband is inside and ..."

"I'm sorry, madam. The plane leaves at 5 minutes. No passenger is allowed inside..."

"Please-"

"Oh my God." screamed Morgana and everyone turned toward her, she had a hand on her forehead, "I think I ... I feel really bad ..."

Suddenly, Merlin understood, it was weird, but it could work.

"How's that, bad?"

"I feel ... dizzy. As if I..."

Freya understood too, she walked forward.

"Have you eaten, this morning?"

"Yes, but ..."

Merlin turned toward the man.

"We'll need help."

The man did not move.

"Now!"

At the moment; Morgana pretended to crumble on the ground, and the man left quickly. Merlin walked discretely toward Gwen, and whispered.

"Run."

Suddenly, she understood what they were doing.

She gave them a grateful smile and ran.

All Guinevere could think of was Arthur.

All the things they'd been through together.

She could not understand how she could have pushed him away when she loved him so damm much.

_Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry_   
_You don't know how lovely you are_   
_I had to find you, tell you I need you_   
_Tell you I set you apart_

_Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions_   
_Oh, let's go back to the start_   
_Running in circles, coming up tails_   
_Heads on a science apart_

_Nobody said it was easy_   
_It's such a shame for us to part_   
_Nobody said it was easy_   
_No one ever said it would be this hard_   
_Oh, take me back to the start_

* * *

_Ladies and Gentlemen, please buckle your seatbelts, we will close the door in a few minutes. _

The girl's eyes widened.

"What's going on?"

"I fear the take-off." he extended his hand to her.

"You can hold mine, if you want to."

She gave him a grateful smile and laid her little hand in his, squeezing it hard, closing her eyes.

"Thank you." breathed the woman and he turned around, nodding at her.

* * *

_I was just guessing at numbers and figures_   
_Pulling the puzzles apart_   
_Questions of science, science and progress_   
_Don't speak as loud as my heart_

Thoughts of Arthur kept flashing through her mind.

Guinevere was running, she was running like never and soon, she saw the doors.

"Wait!" she screamed toward the people who were closing it. "Wait, please!"

They frowned.

"Madam, you can't be here."

"Let me in! My husband is inside! I must tell him that ..."

"Madam..."

But it was a woman, and Guinevere was quicker, she passed below her and despite the protests of the young woman, entered the plane.

No one would prevent her from being with the man she loved.

* * *

Suddenly, noises could be heard and Arthur turned around, as the half of the people in the plane did.

"Miss!"

What he saw then, he thought he was dreaming.

Guinevere came in tears running down her cheeks, dressed in a hospital gown, a doctor's coat- surely Merlin's - on her.

She quickly looked on the alleys and was caught by security.

"Guinevere ..." he breathed and, overcome by shock, he got up.

Guinevere's eyes plunged in his and he saw the tears inside.

"Arthur!" she screamed, she tried to run to him but was held back. "Let go of me, you rude person!"

At this moment; the man behind Arthur looked at the man a few seconds, then at his daughter who threw him an imploring look, before look at his wife, who smiled gently at him. He got up, him too.

"What's going on?"

"This young woman is trespassing, sir."

He walked toward them and held a hand toward a crying Gwen, ordering the man to let her go.

"Come here, child."

Hesitantly, she took his hand.

No noise in the plane.

Mary pushed Arthur and he walked toward them too, and soon, they were facing each other.

Arthur could hear his heart beat in his head.

He didn't dare hope but there was _something _in her eyes...

"Arthur..." she was out of breath.

He didn't know what to say.

"Don't leave."

He looked down and up toward her.

"I'm doing this for you, you know." he breathed.

She opened the mouth, then closed it.

Instead, she walked forward and tied her arms around his neck, before laying her lips on his.

Arthur didn't dare move.

He didn't understood what was going on.

Nothing at all.

Guinevere receded slightly and it broke him to see tears rolling out of her beautiful brown eyes.

"I remember. I remember everything."

He felt his heart quicken.

_Tell me you love me, come back and haunt me_   
_Oh when I rush to the start_   
_Running in circles, chasing our tails_   
_Coming back as we are_

"I remember that summer day, a Saturday June 19, where I crashed your car and I fell in love with you the very moment our stares crossed. I remember we went on a date that night, and every date was better than the previous. I remember the pain in your eyes when you learnt I was with Lancelot, that I let him have a second chance; I remember having try really hard to stay away from you, I remember me, walking down the aisle and realizing that if you weren't at the end of it, it would be meaningless, because I didn't want anybody but _you_. I remember running like I had never before, my heart beating so fast, hoping you did not fall in love with someone else during those 5 months. I remember that I forgot my speech when you opened the door, on that September 2nd; I remember I felt alive for the first time in months when you returned my embrace. I remember the night we spent then, promise we won't ever be separated, this promise you made to make me your wife. I remember two months later when you first told me that you loved me, I remember that my heart was ready to explode from happiness. I remember you father, trying to make us break apart by all possible ways. I remember you preventing me to go a lot of time. I remember Vivian, and how she almost ruined everything between us, I remember what you said to me then, that I was the love of your life, that you knew; that for you there was no one else, and you proposed to me ; I remember I was so full of love and happiness that I could have died. I remember I was irrationally jealous over your relationship with Mithian, ever thought I knew nothing beside friendship would happen. I remember our wedding, how you were so handsome and how I wanted to run by your side! I remember I was afraid this was all a dream, afraid I might wake up and find that you weren't by my side. You noticed, you held me against you all night long. I remember that famous night, we were talking about having a child together... I remember our happy tears; I remember how you squeezed me against you and how your hand was gripping mine. I remember how I love you, Arthur."

She tried to bring back her breath and resumed, in a tender voice.

"I remember everything. I love you, Arthur. I love only you. I have always only loved you..."

He was at loss for words so did the only thing he could do.

He then laid his hands on her waist and brought her to him before closing his lips over hers, passionately.

She smiled and tied her hands in his hair, while the passengers burst out in cheers.

They smiled, but didn't let go of each other yet, both enjoying the feeling of being finally _one _again.

_Nobody said it was easy_   
_Oh, it's such a shame for us to part_   
_Nobody said it was easy_   
_No one ever said it would be so hard_   
_I'm going back to the start_

* * *

Merlin and Morgana were sitting on a bench, Freya in the loo, probably in order for them to have a _proper _talk.

A policeman in charge of looking after them after their little _show_.

The young woman was eating a chocolate that had been brought to her.

They were in trouble, they knew it, but help their friends were worth it, the three of us agreed to that.

Guinevere had yet to come back and that gave them hope.

"Do you want some?" she finally asked, handing him the chocolate.

"No."

She shook her head and sighed.

"Merlin, I wanted to tell you..."

"Stop."

"I am sorry. About everything."

He looked elsewhere but didn't answer right away.

"You played me."

"No!" she screamed.

He had a humorless laugh and she resumed,

"Merlin, you're the only one I've been correct with!"

He raised an eyebrow at her and she sighed again.

"My bad, wrong choice of words. What I meant is ... I was happy with you, Merlin, _really_. And I did truly loved you." her voice broke and his heart with it. So much wasted opportunities. "The only problem is ..." she sighed again. "I'm not right for you. I don't want a proper life like my brother. This type of life is right for Arthur, good job, nice house, loving wife and all that stuff, but I'm not like that."

Merlin studied her a few seconds.

"You'll find someone that'll make you change your mind about it Morgana, I'm sure of it."

He then gave her the first genuine smile in a year, and she gave him back.

After a few seconds, he saw tears threatening to roll down her cheeks.

"Don't cry, please."

Because he had never been able to see her cry.

She threw herself in his arms and he squeezed her tight against him, a few seconds.

"Thank you, Merlin." she breathed, wiping her eyes. "Now, you've got to see that nurse of yours ..."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Oh please _Mer_lin!" the young man had not noticed until now just how much she looked like Arthur. "Give me some credit. A blind man could see it."

He laughed and got up.

"I'm glad we were able to talk."

"As I am."

"And I wanted youto know ..." he hesitated then. "You'll always be an important part of my life."

She would probably always be the love of his life.

But love was sometimes not enough to keep people together.

That was a lesson he had to learn the hard way.

She smiled gently, eyes glassy all of a sudden, and tilted her head.

"I know. Go." she only breathed.

* * *

He walked toward the loo and stopped before the door, suddenly unsure of what to do; should he go back and give Morgana a second chance? Or should he move on and allow himself to trust love a second time?

He sighed, ran a hand through his hair and finally checked that no one were around before he came in.

Freya had her back on him and was washing her hands.

When she looked up and glimpsed him, her eyes widened and she turned around.

"Merlin, but ..."

She was sure; he would tell her that he had chosen the other woman.

Freya wasn't surprised; she was all the things she could never be.

Gorgeous, bold and moreover, she was the sister of his best friend.

How could she fight with that?

He walked closer to her.

"This is the women's loo!"

He smiled and brought her toward him, she felt her heart speed.

"Too bad."

And then, he did the thing he dreamt about for months, and kissed her.

* * *

"I don't know how to thank you." resumed Arthur, squeezing the man's hand, Guinevere cuddled against him.

They were out of the plane; Arthur, Guinevere and the little family.

The man smiled.

"There is nothing to thank me about."

Guinevere smiled at him, but did not let go of her husband.

Arthur, however, receded a few seconds and leant toward Mary, before holding her a piece of paper.

"What is this?" she asked.

"My number." answered Arthur, smiling, "If you ever feel the need to speak, if you got problem with your three boyfriends, then call me."

She smiled and threw herself in his arms.

Arthur, surprised, laughed and squeezed her against him, before getting up and crossing the stare of the mother.

"Thank you." she smiled.

"No, thank _you_."

And they all said goodbye one last time before the family get on the plane, and Arthur and Guinevere in the corridor.

She cuddled more against him and felt his heart beat fast.

He smiled and laid a kiss on her hair, still not believing his luck.

* * *

The three friends were there.

They didn't quite understood why, but a policeman came and said that they were allowed to leave.

Anxious, they were waiting the return of their friends.

Finally, a little away from them, they glimpsed two shaped, together.

Morgana let out a cry of happiness, which made Merlin laugh.

Finally, they arrived and Morgana squeezed her brother in her arms, hard.

"I am _so _happy ..." she breathed in his ear.

Arthur squeezed back and receded, before Guinevere cuddled back in his arms.

They both needed it. It was as if they had been separated for years.

* * *

They left the airport, Merlin & Freya, hand in hand; Morgana, talking joyously and laughing; Arthur & Guinevere, glue together.

They arrived at the car and before they climb in, Arthur caught his wife by the waist and stuck his forehead on her, closing his eyes a few seconds.

"I thought I had lost you forever..."

She smiled and stroked his cheek tenderly, before laying her lips on his.

"Never, Arthur. No matter what happens, I vow we always find our way back to each other."

He smiled and opened his eyes.

Blue in brown.

He got closer and kissed her again, feeling her sigh of pleasure when his tongue entered her mouth.

He savored her mouth and brought her closer still to him, until the car honk.

"Are you coming? You two lovebirds will have time to snog later!"

They laughed and he opened the car, she climbed, and he followed her.

Almost losing her husband had instilled a huge fear in Guinevere.

Wanting to be as close as she possibly could to her husband she immediately sat on his lap and laid her head on the crook of his neck, smiling, her heart ready to explode from such joy of having Arthur so close and back with her for good; while Arthur kissed her forehead and held her tight reassuring her.

As Merlin drove, Arthur joyously spoke with his best friend, and Morgana and Freya were laughing together.

Things from now on would go well.

After all, they now knew something for sure.

They now knew that their love was strong enough to conquer _anything_, they now knew that as long as they've got the other, they didn't need anything else.

They were one part of a same rock.


	13. Chapter 13

**Epilogue**

_A few months later..._

Baby cries could be heard in a beautiful Victorian home in London.

"Arthur, your son is awake." muttered a young woman.

The young man tightened his embrace around his wife's waist and buried his face in her neck.

"Until 9 am, he's yours, my love."

He heard her chuckle and that made him smile.

How his life could be so perfect?

He laid a slight kiss on her neck, which made her shiver.

"You wouldn't have been so tired, if you had slept last night and left me sleep." she winked.

He laughed then.

"Not my fault if I can't get enough of you!"

This time, she turned around and cuddled against him, before lay a tender kiss on his chest.

"I love you."

He smiled again.

"I love you too."

"But I'm not getting up."

"Of course not."

He receded from her and heard her groan.

Arthur laid a slight kiss on her lips, but she decided otherwise and removes a hand from the cover, laying it on his head, forcing him to deepen the kiss.

"Guinev_ere_..." he groaned against her lips.

She laughed and let him go, not before she kissed him one last time, softly.

* * *

Arthur came in his son's chamber, a huge smile on his lips.

"What's going on my baby?" he asked slowly, walking toward the cradle.

Nicholas stopped crying, seeing his father and his blue eyes laid on him.

"Hey champ." breathed Arthur before cradling him in his arms.

Nicholas James Pendragon was born three months ago.

His skin was a shade darker than Arthur's, but lighter than Gwen's.

He had big blue eyes, the same as his father's, and Gwen had almost cried of joy seeing in his son those eyes she loved so much. His hair was blond like his father's and one could guess the little curl ready to grow. More curly than Arthur's but less than Gwen's.

He was perfect.

And he was his parent's marvel.

Arthur took the baby bottle and settled on the rocking chair before once again cradling his son against him, and started to feed him.

Nicholas' eyes were stuck on his father and his oh so little hand had caught Arthur's finger and wouldn't let go of it.

Arthur laid eyes rapt with wonder on his son.

How such a miracle could exist?

He did not hear the door opened, but he heard the _click _of the camera.

Guinevere was here, smiling.

She walked closer and stroked her boy's head tenderly, before kissing Arthur's forehead.

"I thought you did not want to get up?"

"I couldn't miss this for the world."

He smiled and she leant in above his shoulder.

"Hello my beautiful angel." she stroked the baby's cheek tenderly. "You're going to be as handsome as your father, do you know that?"

"And as gorgeous as your mother." added Arthur.

After he fed his son, Arthur made burped and squeezed him against him before, seeing the baby eyes begin to close, laying him gently in his cradle, kissing his forehead by doing so.

"Good night my little love. Daddy is just there."

Turning around he saw Gwen, eyes filled with love and adoration.

How did she deserved that?

A husband perfect in every single way and a little boy so incredible?

She smiled and walked closer to the cradle.

"Good night, my sweet love."

And they left the room, without making any noise.

* * *

Arthur got back to bed, soon followed by Guinevere.

The problem was she wasn't tired anymore now; so she glued herself to him and let her hands beneath his shirt, stroking his chest.

"Guinevere..."

"Hm-Hm?" she asked in an innocent voice, kissing his neck tenderly.

She felt him shiver and smiled.

Suddenly, without understand how, she found herself beneath him.

He had circled her wrists above her head and his eyes were shinning with lust.

"Pray tell what you're doing, wife?"

She smiled and bit her lips.

Arthur then lowered his head and kissed her passionately, letting their tongue meet, removing with regret.

"You do know that if we keep this up, Nick will have a little sibling before the end of the year... don't you?"

She brought him back to her and whispered in his ears.

"Why not?"

He smiled and took his chance to kiss her neck.

She moaned when he found _that _place she loved.

"I love you so much..." he whispered against her skin and she smiled, before bringing back his face toward hers.

"I love you too. You're my Arthur."

She stroked his face lovingly and he smiled with adoration, before kissing her again.

**THE END.**


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